I’ve also learned: It is easier to remove good people from your community than to remove people who are aggressive, manipulative, narcissistic, or psychopathic, because the former will remain reasonable throughout the process, while the latter will fight dirty.
To give a concrete example: the original ACDC memo says Brent cooperated with the panel while the complainant did not, and that’s one reason they trust him (recalled from memory, didn’t double check my wording). Which is insane; an abuser who is good at manipulating people and not traumatized finds it easier to engage in apparent good faith with an investigating org than a traumatized victim. You can try and fix this by being overtly sympathetic towards the victim, but that’s either biasing the outcome or a lie.
Fighting dirty can involve looking reasonable to the outside, e.g. being willing to lie or bend the truth and distracting from the key issues of the matter—these can all be done civilly.
But while I can certainly see failing “to engage in apparent good faith” is like an understandable reaction, it doesn’t really feel like a central example of “remain[ing] reasonable throughout the process”
To give a concrete example: the original ACDC memo says Brent cooperated with the panel while the complainant did not, and that’s one reason they trust him (recalled from memory, didn’t double check my wording). Which is insane; an abuser who is good at manipulating people and not traumatized finds it easier to engage in apparent good faith with an investigating org than a traumatized victim. You can try and fix this by being overtly sympathetic towards the victim, but that’s either biasing the outcome or a lie.
I feel like this is the opposite of the quoted text? Or your example is of the bad actor both “remaining reasonable” and “fighting dirty”
Fighting dirty can involve looking reasonable to the outside, e.g. being willing to lie or bend the truth and distracting from the key issues of the matter—these can all be done civilly.
But while I can certainly see failing “to engage in apparent good faith” is like an understandable reaction, it doesn’t really feel like a central example of “remain[ing] reasonable throughout the process”
They reasonably chose to disengage with the process that was miserable for them and had a low expected pay off.