What you have described here and in the OP doesn’t lead me to believe you have any issues that would prevent you from developing into whatever you wanted, socially. I would estimate that most humans have “mild social anxiety” in the sense that the social situations cause them some level of anxiousness, especially during the uncertain adolescent years, where your status is objectively low because you are young and have no independence or financial means. This gives you essentially no information about what you are capable of growing into. If it helps, imagine some extremely debonair person or fictional character who you like, and trust me that if you start at age sixteen, you can probably become as socially powerful and confident as that person/character by age twenty. I have seen such transformations happen many times, and flatter myself to think that I was such an example. Human social circuitry is hella powerful stuff when you lean on it.
However, this can only happen if you surround yourself with actual humans. Your post is well thought out but you seem to be trying to bend over backwards to avoid engaging with physical human beings. I actually understand why all too well, it is uncomfortable and unaccommodating, but neglecting it would be like neglecting algebra and still expecting to be able to help with FAI.
Possibly even more importantly than all of the above, the effort required to bootstrap yourself toward being better at performance across a wide domain of tasks will be far more difficult without actual people in your environment to give you critical feedback, support, and anchors to sanity. In more colloquial terms, you gotta have good friends around to tell you when you’re being an idiot, because you will always be the last person to see it. I would emphasize that one shouldn’t just view socializing time as a box to be checked off. Socializing and friendship is an utterly critical cornerstone of human existence and friendships are the things that retrospectively end up being most important to you.
What you have described here and in the OP doesn’t lead me to believe you have any issues that would prevent you from developing into whatever you wanted, socially. I would estimate that most humans have “mild social anxiety” in the sense that the social situations cause them some level of anxiousness, especially during the uncertain adolescent years, where your status is objectively low because you are young and have no independence or financial means. This gives you essentially no information about what you are capable of growing into. If it helps, imagine some extremely debonair person or fictional character who you like, and trust me that if you start at age sixteen, you can probably become as socially powerful and confident as that person/character by age twenty. I have seen such transformations happen many times, and flatter myself to think that I was such an example. Human social circuitry is hella powerful stuff when you lean on it.
However, this can only happen if you surround yourself with actual humans. Your post is well thought out but you seem to be trying to bend over backwards to avoid engaging with physical human beings. I actually understand why all too well, it is uncomfortable and unaccommodating, but neglecting it would be like neglecting algebra and still expecting to be able to help with FAI.
Possibly even more importantly than all of the above, the effort required to bootstrap yourself toward being better at performance across a wide domain of tasks will be far more difficult without actual people in your environment to give you critical feedback, support, and anchors to sanity. In more colloquial terms, you gotta have good friends around to tell you when you’re being an idiot, because you will always be the last person to see it. I would emphasize that one shouldn’t just view socializing time as a box to be checked off. Socializing and friendship is an utterly critical cornerstone of human existence and friendships are the things that retrospectively end up being most important to you.