I find that introspecting tends to makes me feel bad, because I don’t feel as though I am the way I “should” be—but I don’t really want to be the way I feel obligated to be. So I try very hard not to think about it, because when I’m not thinking about it, I’m not experiencing any distress.
One reason is that, well, I want to live up to my parents’ expectations and desires. It feels wrong to live off the charity of others (specifically, my parents) and refuse to look for a job, but I don’t want to work and don’t feel as though I am even capable of working. My father warns me that not working now will greatly reduce my future employment prospects, and that I’ll eventually have to find work or starve after they retire and can no longer support me. (So I guess I’ll starve, then?)
If I don’t feel like doing something, I literally can’t do it, and threats don’t help very much; they just get processed as sunk costs, something to be endured rather than fought against. I also don’t want to be the kind of person who does things he doesn’t feel like doing—that way lies madness, drudgery, and wasting your life on things you don’t care about.
Though you might have heard it before, the solution is most likely to find a way to support yourself through the things you already enjoy doing, and/or cultivate an interest to the point where you will be able to make money with it.
Doing so would surely be more effective than beating your head on the wall of “I can’t do it”.
You may want to look in to the disability options available in your country, depending on the reasons you feel unable to work. Alternately, you might try experimenting with a job if you haven’t already—you might find it more bearable than expected. Nanani’s suggestion of alternate employment options are also probably worth looking in to.
Figure out why you don’t want to work, and then see what options exist that are compatible with that, basically. A lot of my friends don’t have jobs, and a number of them suffer in ways that make future employment fairly unlikely. There are ways to live with this :)
I find that introspecting tends to makes me feel bad, because I don’t feel as though I am the way I “should” be—but I don’t really want to be the way I feel obligated to be. So I try very hard not to think about it, because when I’m not thinking about it, I’m not experiencing any distress.
Maybe you can unpack why you feel obligated to be a way you don’t want to be.
Do you want to want to be the way you feel obligated not to be?
One reason is that, well, I want to live up to my parents’ expectations and desires. It feels wrong to live off the charity of others (specifically, my parents) and refuse to look for a job, but I don’t want to work and don’t feel as though I am even capable of working. My father warns me that not working now will greatly reduce my future employment prospects, and that I’ll eventually have to find work or starve after they retire and can no longer support me. (So I guess I’ll starve, then?)
If I don’t feel like doing something, I literally can’t do it, and threats don’t help very much; they just get processed as sunk costs, something to be endured rather than fought against. I also don’t want to be the kind of person who does things he doesn’t feel like doing—that way lies madness, drudgery, and wasting your life on things you don’t care about.
Though you might have heard it before, the solution is most likely to find a way to support yourself through the things you already enjoy doing, and/or cultivate an interest to the point where you will be able to make money with it.
Doing so would surely be more effective than beating your head on the wall of “I can’t do it”.
You may want to look in to the disability options available in your country, depending on the reasons you feel unable to work. Alternately, you might try experimenting with a job if you haven’t already—you might find it more bearable than expected. Nanani’s suggestion of alternate employment options are also probably worth looking in to.
Figure out why you don’t want to work, and then see what options exist that are compatible with that, basically. A lot of my friends don’t have jobs, and a number of them suffer in ways that make future employment fairly unlikely. There are ways to live with this :)