in an earlier, social, life, i always met my dates through my friends. i never had to go out of my way to make friends of both sexes, my hobbies/interests just happened to attract both. 10 years later, all my friends are dudes, 90% of my friends’ friends are dudes, and my social ties are just fewer in number.
i’m focused on just growing my immediate friend network at the moment. i was raised to not use my real name on the internet, much less post photos of my face on it. i’ve had just enough continued success in that approach that i haven’t been forced to concede. but i legitimately enjoyed having my friends set me up on dates. i’m not ready to abandon that method of dating and relegate matchmaking to some app behind a screen. part of this is the expectation that i’m far less likely to be compatible with the wide pool of candidates on a dating app than with the narrower pool filtered through my lifelong friends. but a bigger part is probably just stubbornness, holding onto a dying model. and maybe some amount of risk aversion — not of the “fear of rejection” type — but of dismissing the new models without first risking them. i think it’s distinct from laziness, but maybe it falls into #9.
in an earlier, social, life, i always met my dates through my friends. i never had to go out of my way to make friends of both sexes, my hobbies/interests just happened to attract both. 10 years later, all my friends are dudes, 90% of my friends’ friends are dudes, and my social ties are just fewer in number.
i’m focused on just growing my immediate friend network at the moment. i was raised to not use my real name on the internet, much less post photos of my face on it. i’ve had just enough continued success in that approach that i haven’t been forced to concede. but i legitimately enjoyed having my friends set me up on dates. i’m not ready to abandon that method of dating and relegate matchmaking to some app behind a screen. part of this is the expectation that i’m far less likely to be compatible with the wide pool of candidates on a dating app than with the narrower pool filtered through my lifelong friends. but a bigger part is probably just stubbornness, holding onto a dying model. and maybe some amount of risk aversion — not of the “fear of rejection” type — but of dismissing the new models without first risking them. i think it’s distinct from laziness, but maybe it falls into #9.