It’s very, very difficult, primarily because people who are INTENSELY on my side are never as vocal as people who are casually against me.
I.e., people who clearly love me and are willing to share portions of their life with me are willing to go so far as to say “I think you do pretty well.” People whom I’ve never met are willing to go so far as to say “fucking kill yourself you fucking loser. Stop acting like you even know how to person, let alone . Fuck it, I’m looking up your address; I’ll kill you.”
I might be an outlier, but a spiel like “fucking kill yourself you fucking loser. Stop acting like you even know how to person, let alone . Fuck it, I’m looking up your address; I’ll kill you” doesn’t signal casualness to me. The only people I’d expect to say that casually are trolls trying to get a rise out of people. Idle trolling aside, someone laying down a fusillade of abuse like that is someone who cares quite a bit (and doubtless more than they’d like to admit) about my behaviour. Hardly an unbiased commentator! (I recognize that’s easier said than internalized.)
I might be an outlier, but a spiel like “fucking kill yourself you fucking loser. Stop acting like you even know how to person, let alone . Fuck it, I’m looking up your address; I’ll kill you” doesn’t signal casualness to me. The only people I’d expect to say that casually are trolls trying to get a rise out of people. Idle trolling aside, someone laying down a fusillade of abuse like that is someone who cares quite a bit (and doubtless more than they’d like to admit) about my behaviour. Hardly an unbiased commentator! (I recognize that’s easier said than internalized.)