I think knowing about the actual object level problem here would help in crafting a suitable solution. My main question is why are you informing your friends that you’re at your limit?
Are you participating in some group activity (e.g. going to the gym) that you feel you have to drop out of? If so I strongly recommend just working through the pain until what’s stopping you is no longer pain winning over willpower but physical incapability to proceed. At that point you don’t even need to tell your friends you’re at your limit because no matter what you’re going to flop to the ground unable to continue with the activity. You clearly want to do the group activity, because you haven’t even posited quitting as an option, so rely on your decision to do the group activity and trust that you’re not going to cause any lasting harm to yourself by working through the pain.
If you’re not participating in a group activity (e.g. you had to take off sick from work and you told your friends about it the next day) I see good reasons to not inform your friends that you’re at your limit at all. You know what their expected response is, and you don’t think that expected response is helpful. So might as well just not go through the routine that will give you the bad response.
for a simplified story say I am currently spending 4 hours every day consuming mindless entertainment just to make myself feel good enough to go to work.
my friends believe that it’s too much and/or not typical. So I converted one hour into productive time [exercise, study, etc] which results in heartburn.
I want to be able to communicate my internal experience so my friends can suggest an alternative way I can convert that hour without hurting myself.
I have been in that kind of state many times, sometimes for months at a stretch, and agree that just trying to force myself to do otherwise is unsustainable. However, like others have said, I think you’re overlooking a large portion of the space of possible options.
How does your job make you feel while you’re there? Maybe the answer if to change jobs, change companies, change how you approach your job, or something else.
Is the mindless entertainment actually restorative, or is it just kind of acting as a placeholder that neither provides nor consumes energy? Sometimes I can get more out of a 5 minute meditation than watching an hour of TV, sometimes I need a 30 minute nap, sometimes I really do need to do something mindless, and it’s hard for me to differentiate those. Also, for me, mindless chores that involve movement, like folding laundry or washing dishes, are often better than mindless entertainment.
You don’t need to answer this here, but how is your mental health generally? Depression can easily cause the situation you describe, and I’m sure many other issues can, too. Therapy and/or medication can be very helpful for finding ways to navigate your life more skillfully with the mind and body you’ve got.
I think knowing about the actual object level problem here would help in crafting a suitable solution. My main question is why are you informing your friends that you’re at your limit?
Are you participating in some group activity (e.g. going to the gym) that you feel you have to drop out of? If so I strongly recommend just working through the pain until what’s stopping you is no longer pain winning over willpower but physical incapability to proceed. At that point you don’t even need to tell your friends you’re at your limit because no matter what you’re going to flop to the ground unable to continue with the activity. You clearly want to do the group activity, because you haven’t even posited quitting as an option, so rely on your decision to do the group activity and trust that you’re not going to cause any lasting harm to yourself by working through the pain.
If you’re not participating in a group activity (e.g. you had to take off sick from work and you told your friends about it the next day) I see good reasons to not inform your friends that you’re at your limit at all. You know what their expected response is, and you don’t think that expected response is helpful. So might as well just not go through the routine that will give you the bad response.
for a simplified story say I am currently spending 4 hours every day consuming mindless entertainment just to make myself feel good enough to go to work.
my friends believe that it’s too much and/or not typical. So I converted one hour into productive time [exercise, study, etc] which results in heartburn.
I want to be able to communicate my internal experience so my friends can suggest an alternative way I can convert that hour without hurting myself.
I have been in that kind of state many times, sometimes for months at a stretch, and agree that just trying to force myself to do otherwise is unsustainable. However, like others have said, I think you’re overlooking a large portion of the space of possible options.
How does your job make you feel while you’re there? Maybe the answer if to change jobs, change companies, change how you approach your job, or something else.
Is the mindless entertainment actually restorative, or is it just kind of acting as a placeholder that neither provides nor consumes energy? Sometimes I can get more out of a 5 minute meditation than watching an hour of TV, sometimes I need a 30 minute nap, sometimes I really do need to do something mindless, and it’s hard for me to differentiate those. Also, for me, mindless chores that involve movement, like folding laundry or washing dishes, are often better than mindless entertainment.
You don’t need to answer this here, but how is your mental health generally? Depression can easily cause the situation you describe, and I’m sure many other issues can, too. Therapy and/or medication can be very helpful for finding ways to navigate your life more skillfully with the mind and body you’ve got.