I remain badly uncomfortable with this portrayal of the situation as “High status men are permitted to touch arbitrary women in their social group more,” and this being presumed to be the same as “Women are more happy when high status men touch them [than when low-status men do.]” I can allow someone to touch me for a lot of reasons: fear, paralysis, having been Psychology-of-Persuasion’d into it, being friends with them, being ecstatic about something unrelated, sexual or aesthetic attraction. However, I have good reason to believe that nearly all men don’t just want to touch women, they want to touch women and have those women be happy about it, in the moment and afterwards. For certain when I think about touching someone, I’m displeased at the thought of them pretending to enjoy it and feeling vaguely skeeved, but not knowing why/not thinking they have the ability to prevent me from doing so.
A woman who’s afraid to resist the touch in the moment might still label the guy afterwards as a creep. When I said allowed, I meant behavior that doesn’t lead to being labeled creepy.
When it comes to the girl being happy about being touched things can be more complex. Most people find being tickled a bit uncomfortable. Some guysenjoy tickling a girl even if the girl would prefer in the moment not to be tickled.
Tickling a girl communicates “We have a relationship where I have the power to tickle you without negative consequences for myself”.
It’s demonstration of power. If the girl goes along with it, she recognises the power. It demonstrates status to other people who are watching.
Successful demonstration of power can increase the amount of attraction that a girl feels. Jerks who demonstrate power have more success with girl than nice guys who don’t.
The pickup literature is full with advice that suggest that being “nice” isn’t enough to create attraction. Unfortunately that frequently leads to guy’s behaving in creepy ways. They try to act like they have social power that they don’t have.
Most of the purposes of LW meetups aren’t to be venues for seduction, and the riskier styles have noticeable odds of guaranteeing that some women won’t come back.
I myself wouldn’t use LW meetups as venues for seduction. I would however guess that most of the people who act creepy on LW meetups do see them as venues for seduction.
If you want to convince those people to change their behavior I think it makes sense to speak in a language that they are more likely to understand.
If you use the kind of language in which the main post of this discussion is posted, I think you are unlikely to reach the people who pose the problem.
If my intended audience wouldn’t be the people who pose the problem but the people who are fluent in deconstrutivist language I would speak differently.
This is funny to me, because the first time I met a group of Less Wrongers, one of them tickled me a day or two into us having met. However, the person in question was MBlume, who is known to not be scary.
I remain badly uncomfortable with this portrayal of the situation as “High status men are permitted to touch arbitrary women in their social group more,” and this being presumed to be the same as “Women are more happy when high status men touch them [than when low-status men do.]” I can allow someone to touch me for a lot of reasons: fear, paralysis, having been Psychology-of-Persuasion’d into it, being friends with them, being ecstatic about something unrelated, sexual or aesthetic attraction. However, I have good reason to believe that nearly all men don’t just want to touch women, they want to touch women and have those women be happy about it, in the moment and afterwards. For certain when I think about touching someone, I’m displeased at the thought of them pretending to enjoy it and feeling vaguely skeeved, but not knowing why/not thinking they have the ability to prevent me from doing so.
A woman who’s afraid to resist the touch in the moment might still label the guy afterwards as a creep. When I said allowed, I meant behavior that doesn’t lead to being labeled creepy.
When it comes to the girl being happy about being touched things can be more complex. Most people find being tickled a bit uncomfortable. Some guysenjoy tickling a girl even if the girl would prefer in the moment not to be tickled.
Tickling a girl communicates “We have a relationship where I have the power to tickle you without negative consequences for myself”. It’s demonstration of power. If the girl goes along with it, she recognises the power. It demonstrates status to other people who are watching.
Successful demonstration of power can increase the amount of attraction that a girl feels. Jerks who demonstrate power have more success with girl than nice guys who don’t.
The pickup literature is full with advice that suggest that being “nice” isn’t enough to create attraction. Unfortunately that frequently leads to guy’s behaving in creepy ways. They try to act like they have social power that they don’t have.
Most of the purposes of LW meetups aren’t to be venues for seduction, and the riskier styles have noticeable odds of guaranteeing that some women won’t come back.
I myself wouldn’t use LW meetups as venues for seduction. I would however guess that most of the people who act creepy on LW meetups do see them as venues for seduction. If you want to convince those people to change their behavior I think it makes sense to speak in a language that they are more likely to understand.
If you use the kind of language in which the main post of this discussion is posted, I think you are unlikely to reach the people who pose the problem. If my intended audience wouldn’t be the people who pose the problem but the people who are fluent in deconstrutivist language I would speak differently.
This is funny to me, because the first time I met a group of Less Wrongers, one of them tickled me a day or two into us having met. However, the person in question was MBlume, who is known to not be scary.