I think you’re right about the socially adept overhugging situations. Nevertheless, I don’t think the non-hugging-without-asking advice is helpful to the intended audience.
For one thing, this socially-adept over-hugger, for all his flaws, is still much preferable and beneficial to the group than the archetypal, socially-inept creep under discussion. So, while the overhugger might be strictly better for the group to the follow the hugging advice, I would still say the most important thing (the low-hanging fruit here) is to teach the creep the things that the overhugger is doing right, not to tell him to avoid the things the overhugger is doing wrong.
Like I’ve tried to demonstrate here, it’s hard to form a model of the things you need to do in a group setting when a) you don’t know how to act, and b) all advice you get is in the negative. If it does anything, the negative advice just reinforces a mental model that says, “to be on the safe side, don’t even talk to anyone because you might hit one of the prohibited things”, which is not a step forward. And if my own experience is any guide, it just blends into the same old message of, “your desires are bad, how dare you act on them”—not a healthy mentality to encourage in the target audience, who probably already assimilated this message early on.
I think you’re right about the socially adept overhugging situations. Nevertheless, I don’t think the non-hugging-without-asking advice is helpful to the intended audience.
For one thing, this socially-adept over-hugger, for all his flaws, is still much preferable and beneficial to the group than the archetypal, socially-inept creep under discussion. So, while the overhugger might be strictly better for the group to the follow the hugging advice, I would still say the most important thing (the low-hanging fruit here) is to teach the creep the things that the overhugger is doing right, not to tell him to avoid the things the overhugger is doing wrong.
Like I’ve tried to demonstrate here, it’s hard to form a model of the things you need to do in a group setting when a) you don’t know how to act, and b) all advice you get is in the negative. If it does anything, the negative advice just reinforces a mental model that says, “to be on the safe side, don’t even talk to anyone because you might hit one of the prohibited things”, which is not a step forward. And if my own experience is any guide, it just blends into the same old message of, “your desires are bad, how dare you act on them”—not a healthy mentality to encourage in the target audience, who probably already assimilated this message early on.