People can do a lot about their feelings. But whether they can or not, the issue of blame is not resolved. That X feels upset about what Y does, and even can’t help feeling upset, does not necessarily imply that X is to blame for anything.
As to “the cause” of the bad feelings, clearly it’s combination of the X’s emotional disposition and Y’s behavior, and if either were sufficiently different, the bad feelings would not have occurred.
But we’ve at least identified one problem in this conversation. You have a different definition of creepy than I do. I don’t think yours is quite so robust, because I’d just call yours “threatening” or “dangerous”, not creepy, but it does seem like a potential element of creepiness.
But then, unsafe how? What is the threat? I can see a number.
Threat of physical or sexual assault. Threat to social status by a low status male even showing interest (as if he had a chance, etc.). Threat of that in a public setting. Threat of the discomfort of dealing with him and his interest.
Finally, I wonder how much a woman perceives any unwanted sexual interest from a man she doesn’t trust as something of a threat, even when an objective review of the circumstances would say there is no real threat. That would seem natural to me, in an evolutionary sense.
People can do a lot about their feelings. But whether they can or not, the issue of blame is not resolved. That X feels upset about what Y does, and even can’t help feeling upset, does not necessarily imply that X is to blame for anything.
As to “the cause” of the bad feelings, clearly it’s combination of the X’s emotional disposition and Y’s behavior, and if either were sufficiently different, the bad feelings would not have occurred.
But we’ve at least identified one problem in this conversation. You have a different definition of creepy than I do. I don’t think yours is quite so robust, because I’d just call yours “threatening” or “dangerous”, not creepy, but it does seem like a potential element of creepiness.
But then, unsafe how? What is the threat? I can see a number.
Threat of physical or sexual assault. Threat to social status by a low status male even showing interest (as if he had a chance, etc.). Threat of that in a public setting. Threat of the discomfort of dealing with him and his interest.
Finally, I wonder how much a woman perceives any unwanted sexual interest from a man she doesn’t trust as something of a threat, even when an objective review of the circumstances would say there is no real threat. That would seem natural to me, in an evolutionary sense.