I find that, sporadically, I act like a total attention whore around people whom I respect and may talk to more or less freely—whether I know them or we’re only distantly acquainted. This mostly includes my behavior in communities like this, but also in class and wherever else I can interact informally with a group of equals. I talk excitedly about myself, about various things that I think my audience might find interesting, etc. I know it might come across as uncouth, annoying and just plain abnormal, but I don’t even feel a desire to stop. It’s not due to any drugs either. When I see that I’ve unloaded too much on whoever I’m talking to, I try to apologize and occasionally even explain that I have a neural condition.
I believe that it’s a side effect of me deprogramming myself from social anxiety after getting all shaken up by Evangelion. In high school and earlier, I was really really shy, resented having to talk to anyone but a few friends, felt rage at being dragged into conversations, etc. But now it’s like my personality has shifted a deviation or two towards the extraverted side. So such impulses, which were very rare in my childhood, became proeminent and this weirds me out. I still have a self-image of a very introverted guy, but now I’m often compelled to behave differently.
[This comment was caused by such an impulse too. Again, I’m completely sober, emotionally neutral and so on. I just have the urge to speak up.]
I find that, sporadically, I act like a total attention whore around people whom I respect and may talk to more or less freely—whether I know them or we’re only distantly acquainted. This mostly includes my behavior in communities like this, but also in class and wherever else I can interact informally with a group of equals. I talk excitedly about myself, about various things that I think my audience might find interesting, etc. I know it might come across as uncouth, annoying and just plain abnormal, but I don’t even feel a desire to stop. It’s not due to any drugs either. When I see that I’ve unloaded too much on whoever I’m talking to, I try to apologize and occasionally even explain that I have a neural condition.
I believe that it’s a side effect of me deprogramming myself from social anxiety after getting all shaken up by Evangelion. In high school and earlier, I was really really shy, resented having to talk to anyone but a few friends, felt rage at being dragged into conversations, etc. But now it’s like my personality has shifted a deviation or two towards the extraverted side. So such impulses, which were very rare in my childhood, became proeminent and this weirds me out. I still have a self-image of a very introverted guy, but now I’m often compelled to behave differently.
[This comment was caused by such an impulse too. Again, I’m completely sober, emotionally neutral and so on. I just have the urge to speak up.]