Excellent post! It’s interesting how this mirrors what I’ve been attempting to do over the last month—applying some of the ideas from Mark Manson’s Models (i.e. the one good dating book out there) to my general social life with surprising success. I’ve always been a bit of a reclusive guy (big surprise given that I’m on LW, I know) and the two main people I’ve tried to be more open and emotionally honest with this month have responded very positively. We cuddle, touch and have intimate conversations even though we met fairly recently, which would usually feel awkward to me, but this time it doesn’t. Additionally, it doesn’t feel like a strategy or a “move”, more like I’m just being more of myself and people like me more for it. I like it a lot.
One takeaway for me is that being too frugal with spending my weirdness points has the downside that I don’t filter for the kinds of people who are right for me. It makes it easier to get along with everyone, but harder to both build lasting connections and to feel honest about who I am.
Btw, if anyone is looking for more fun questions, School of Life has some card decks designed for introspection and getting to know each other. I’d recommend “Know Yourself” and the dating one. Some of the cards are a bit forced and Freudian, but I’ve found a few of them pretty insightful. I do introduce them as a game though, they feel too constructed to work well as random questions. Some of my favorites:
If you could be sure to achieve one thing, what would you pick? (Around LW people I specify “common accomplishment” to prevent munchkining)
Which four adjectives would you use to describe yourself and each other?
What did you enjoy as a child? How do you feel about it now?
What three works of art/media mean a lot to you and why?
List five ways in which you are quite difficult to live with.
Excellent post! It’s interesting how this mirrors what I’ve been attempting to do over the last month—applying some of the ideas from Mark Manson’s Models (i.e. the one good dating book out there) to my general social life with surprising success. I’ve always been a bit of a reclusive guy (big surprise given that I’m on LW, I know) and the two main people I’ve tried to be more open and emotionally honest with this month have responded very positively. We cuddle, touch and have intimate conversations even though we met fairly recently, which would usually feel awkward to me, but this time it doesn’t. Additionally, it doesn’t feel like a strategy or a “move”, more like I’m just being more of myself and people like me more for it. I like it a lot.
One takeaway for me is that being too frugal with spending my weirdness points has the downside that I don’t filter for the kinds of people who are right for me. It makes it easier to get along with everyone, but harder to both build lasting connections and to feel honest about who I am.
Btw, if anyone is looking for more fun questions, School of Life has some card decks designed for introspection and getting to know each other. I’d recommend “Know Yourself” and the dating one. Some of the cards are a bit forced and Freudian, but I’ve found a few of them pretty insightful. I do introduce them as a game though, they feel too constructed to work well as random questions. Some of my favorites:
If you could be sure to achieve one thing, what would you pick? (Around LW people I specify “common accomplishment” to prevent munchkining)
Which four adjectives would you use to describe yourself and each other?
What did you enjoy as a child? How do you feel about it now?
What three works of art/media mean a lot to you and why?
List five ways in which you are quite difficult to live with.