Unfortunately, most discussion about rape turns quickly into advice that is likely … (3) very judgmental. E.g. “Don’t accept drinks from a stranger at a party.”
(3) Implicitly, is quite judgmental about women even being at parties.
There is a point where this kind of re-framing and attribution of intent goes beyond ridiculous and becomes outright dangerous. The advice “Don’t accept drinks from a stranger at a party” is necessary wisdom for people living in the world that is. The same applies to the related personal security knowledge “Don’t walk alone at night in a dark alley” (Well, get a cab, you moron! And on the way, if a stranger offers you candy, don’t get in the van!.
It would be nice if the world was one in which it was not possible for people to have bad things happen to them. But we don’t live in that world. Yet there is a pervasive notion that acknowledging risks and taking precautions is in some way endorsing the need for them. Anyone who tells you to act as if the world is as it should be instead of how it is (on pain of being stigmatised as ‘judgemental’) is acting as an enemy, not an ally—they are sabotaging you.
(1) Not exactly new advice to the listener
That’s great. The cultural transfer of life skills is working as intended. Most instances where things like “look both ways before crossing the road” and “don’t accept drinks from a stranger at a party” are shared should be redundant.
There is a point where this kind of re-framing and attribution of intent goes beyond ridiculous and becomes outright dangerous. The advice “Don’t accept drinks from a stranger at a party” is necessary wisdom for people living in the world that is. The same applies to the related personal security knowledge “Don’t walk alone at night in a dark alley” (Well, get a cab, you moron! And on the way, if a stranger offers you candy, don’t get in the van!.
It would be nice if the world was one in which it was not possible for people to have bad things happen to them. But we don’t live in that world. Yet there is a pervasive notion that acknowledging risks and taking precautions is in some way endorsing the need for them. Anyone who tells you to act as if the world is as it should be instead of how it is (on pain of being stigmatised as ‘judgemental’) is acting as an enemy, not an ally—they are sabotaging you.
That’s great. The cultural transfer of life skills is working as intended. Most instances where things like “look both ways before crossing the road” and “don’t accept drinks from a stranger at a party” are shared should be redundant.