Yeah, it is a complex topic. It is related to the general pattern that if one party has even slightly higher standards they can end up being responsible for it almost always. Simply because they start to reach their mental threshold before the other party does or by mechanisms of practicing it more and getting better at it. For example, cleaning the kitchen. I have no aversion to it and consider it relaxing to do but I’m also fine with more stuff lying around. But my ex-wife and also my oldest son prefer it more orderly. If we don’t come to some agreement you can guess what happens. It can easily feel unfair that they ‘have to’ do it always. And such things can evolve dynamically with a growing family or otherwise changing circumstances.
Yeah, it is a complex topic. It is related to the general pattern that if one party has even slightly higher standards they can end up being responsible for it almost always. Simply because they start to reach their mental threshold before the other party does or by mechanisms of practicing it more and getting better at it. For example, cleaning the kitchen. I have no aversion to it and consider it relaxing to do but I’m also fine with more stuff lying around. But my ex-wife and also my oldest son prefer it more orderly. If we don’t come to some agreement you can guess what happens. It can easily feel unfair that they ‘have to’ do it always. And such things can evolve dynamically with a growing family or otherwise changing circumstances.