“Babies! The persistent, biological alarm clocks that adjust your sleep schedules for you! Available (with some persuasion of a third party) for almost no cost!*”
*Cost projection is for the first nine months only. Fees after this period are not fixed and can increase almost without bound. Contracts are for at least 18 years. Baby, Inc. not responsible for side effects: loss of sleep or hair, drool, vomit, or feces of baby impeding daily life were most commonly reported. Many users reported taking pictures of baby and obsessing over mundane details of baby’s life. Uncommon side effects include loss of interest in any other activities, completely unfounded optimism, and socializing only with other clients of Baby, Inc.
“Babies! The persistent, biological alarm clocks that adjust your sleep schedules for you! Available (with some persuasion of a third party) for almost no cost!*”
*Cost projection is for the first nine months only. Fees after this period are not fixed and can increase almost without bound. Contracts are for at least 18 years. Baby, Inc. not responsible for side effects: loss of sleep or hair, drool, vomit, or feces of baby impeding daily life were most commonly reported. Many users reported taking pictures of baby and obsessing over mundane details of baby’s life. Uncommon side effects include loss of interest in any other activities, completely unfounded optimism, and socializing only with other clients of Baby, Inc.
Sorry, I couldn’t resist :)