Don’t worry about it, seriously. There is nothing awkward about being poor and it definitely is no reason to feel guilty, it just sucks. You’ve probably also experienced that people won’t necessarily help you out under these circumstances, even if you specifically ask for help and if you know they have the money. So, dignity is all you have going for you.
Also remember, there is wealth in other things as well besides money. Besides buying rounds when I could, I’ve always made a huge point out of volunteering and helping people in other ways. Throw your time, smarts and skills around like some people spend their money. Learn how to cook. Learn how to repair stuff. You’ll be fine.
True story: I have two best friends that I’ve known since kindergarten. When I was in a really difficult period a couple of months ago one of them said to me: “You know, if you really get in to trouble, I will always come and bail you out.” We’ve never had to try it out, but you can’t imagine the feeling of support that gave me. Now, I’ve just recently discovered that my other friend is actually insanely rich (compared to all the rest of us), he just never told us before. Guess who typically buys the rounds? Right, the first friend. Guess who is happier? Yup, still the first guy. But, I still love them both. Life is like that.
“You know, if you really get in to trouble, I will always come and bail you out.”
I am immensely grateful to also have a friend who’s said this to me in almost exactly those words. I haven’t ever had to be bailed out (knock on wood), but he lent me a substantial sum of money for textbooks at the beginning of this school year, against my financial aid. Given that I haven’t yet gotten the financial aid, I would be pretty stuck by now without his help.
I don’t feel guilty about being poor. Most of my friends have been there and are sympathetic. (Some haven’t and are still sympathetic.) It is socially awkward, though, because it bars me from certain occasions, and requires explicit discussion of payment beforehand in others. (If someone asks me out to dinner, I can only go if they will pay for me, and it’s not conventionally polite for either of us to bring that up beforehand!)
I am indeed sometimes able to use other skills in situations I might have otherwise needed money for. Last week a bunch of people were getting together at a friend’s house, and they were planning on ordering in a bunch of food. Since I wouldn’t have been able to do that, I offered to cook for the group instead, and ended up making a big pot of soup out of things the host already had in his kitchen. Several people thanked me for making their lives easier by taking charge of the dinner, when all I’d intended to do was make my own life easier. Everybody won, and I’m (obviously) still pretty pleased with myself about it.
Don’t worry about it, seriously. There is nothing awkward about being poor and it definitely is no reason to feel guilty, it just sucks. You’ve probably also experienced that people won’t necessarily help you out under these circumstances, even if you specifically ask for help and if you know they have the money. So, dignity is all you have going for you.
Also remember, there is wealth in other things as well besides money. Besides buying rounds when I could, I’ve always made a huge point out of volunteering and helping people in other ways. Throw your time, smarts and skills around like some people spend their money. Learn how to cook. Learn how to repair stuff. You’ll be fine.
True story: I have two best friends that I’ve known since kindergarten. When I was in a really difficult period a couple of months ago one of them said to me: “You know, if you really get in to trouble, I will always come and bail you out.” We’ve never had to try it out, but you can’t imagine the feeling of support that gave me. Now, I’ve just recently discovered that my other friend is actually insanely rich (compared to all the rest of us), he just never told us before. Guess who typically buys the rounds? Right, the first friend. Guess who is happier? Yup, still the first guy. But, I still love them both. Life is like that.
I am immensely grateful to also have a friend who’s said this to me in almost exactly those words. I haven’t ever had to be bailed out (knock on wood), but he lent me a substantial sum of money for textbooks at the beginning of this school year, against my financial aid. Given that I haven’t yet gotten the financial aid, I would be pretty stuck by now without his help.
I don’t feel guilty about being poor. Most of my friends have been there and are sympathetic. (Some haven’t and are still sympathetic.) It is socially awkward, though, because it bars me from certain occasions, and requires explicit discussion of payment beforehand in others. (If someone asks me out to dinner, I can only go if they will pay for me, and it’s not conventionally polite for either of us to bring that up beforehand!)
I am indeed sometimes able to use other skills in situations I might have otherwise needed money for. Last week a bunch of people were getting together at a friend’s house, and they were planning on ordering in a bunch of food. Since I wouldn’t have been able to do that, I offered to cook for the group instead, and ended up making a big pot of soup out of things the host already had in his kitchen. Several people thanked me for making their lives easier by taking charge of the dinner, when all I’d intended to do was make my own life easier. Everybody won, and I’m (obviously) still pretty pleased with myself about it.