Okay, but I’m looking for the sorts of questions one might need to ask oneself in the course of that introspection.
I think two questions are important:
What is the actual cause of my emotions? (I.e. expected loss of status, or just feeling cranky all day, etc.)
What part of my emotions is actually warranted? (I.e. am I over- or underconfident, overly stressed / too calm, etc.)
I disagree. I think the request is unreasonable. Yes, you can ask it politely, and thus cause no ill feeling, but it’s still a request that would not plausibly be granted unless the asker has great power or status over the askee, which was not intended to be the case in the example. This makes the request presumptuous: I wouldn’t make an implausible request, so to ask is to behave as if I had so much power over you as to expect you to drop your actual work to satisfy my laziness (and hunger).
That’s what I meant with treating others as equals and taking responsibility for your own wellbeing. It’s not easy to conceive of an example where you could do that and still ask for a sandwich but I think it’s possible.
Always be sure about your midterm and longterm plans
Easier said, but nevertheless valid, as is the rest of your point about this one.
There too, training is key. Set aside a time every evening or every week where you review your goals. Like brushing your teeth, it should eventually become second nature.
That’s what I meant with treating others as equals and taking responsibility for your own wellbeing.
I think that part of taking responsibility for one’s own well-being is knowing when to ask for help with it, and that doing so is not necessarily unreasonable. For example, “I’m really sad right now, will you lend me a shoulder for a while?” seems like it would usually be a reasonable request—but if it’s asked of someone whom you know doesn’t have the time, or who has even weightier problems of their own, or who will be very distressed by hearing about the nature of your problems, it might become unreasonable.
I think two questions are important:
What is the actual cause of my emotions? (I.e. expected loss of status, or just feeling cranky all day, etc.)
What part of my emotions is actually warranted? (I.e. am I over- or underconfident, overly stressed / too calm, etc.)
That’s what I meant with treating others as equals and taking responsibility for your own wellbeing. It’s not easy to conceive of an example where you could do that and still ask for a sandwich but I think it’s possible.
There too, training is key. Set aside a time every evening or every week where you review your goals. Like brushing your teeth, it should eventually become second nature.
I think that part of taking responsibility for one’s own well-being is knowing when to ask for help with it, and that doing so is not necessarily unreasonable. For example, “I’m really sad right now, will you lend me a shoulder for a while?” seems like it would usually be a reasonable request—but if it’s asked of someone whom you know doesn’t have the time, or who has even weightier problems of their own, or who will be very distressed by hearing about the nature of your problems, it might become unreasonable.