change the way he was living his life to earn her love and respect
She wasn’t exactly objecting to his diet or his employment status or anything like that which he could have volunteered to revise. She went “ohgodohgod he can see me”—which wasn’t something he chose ahead of time—and she bolted and he followed her because he had no idea what the hell was going on except that she was his mate and this had Certain Implications. It snowballed horribly, but he started out sincerely confused and only gradually mutated into outright batshit delusional.
I’m not talking about just the first ten minutes of their relationship, nor even the first ten days.
Agreed, it was an awkward beginning, for reasons that are not entirely his doing. (On the other hand, his alliances and the context that brought him to her door weren’t exactly neutral, either.)
And it’s profoundly unclear, even to the readers, how he might have turned that around; what could have earned her love and respect, what she valued, what made her happy other than being left alone. Perhaps there was no way he could have offered her anything she wanted.
And perhaps he spent some frustrating time trying to figure it out, in which case he earns some respect from me during that period, which he then subsequently discards when he gives up trying without giving her up altogether.
She wasn’t exactly objecting to his diet or his employment status or anything like that which he could have volunteered to revise. She went “ohgodohgod he can see me”—which wasn’t something he chose ahead of time—and she bolted and he followed her because he had no idea what the hell was going on except that she was his mate and this had Certain Implications. It snowballed horribly, but he started out sincerely confused and only gradually mutated into outright batshit delusional.
I’m not talking about just the first ten minutes of their relationship, nor even the first ten days.
Agreed, it was an awkward beginning, for reasons that are not entirely his doing. (On the other hand, his alliances and the context that brought him to her door weren’t exactly neutral, either.)
And it’s profoundly unclear, even to the readers, how he might have turned that around; what could have earned her love and respect, what she valued, what made her happy other than being left alone. Perhaps there was no way he could have offered her anything she wanted.
And perhaps he spent some frustrating time trying to figure it out, in which case he earns some respect from me during that period, which he then subsequently discards when he gives up trying without giving her up altogether.
Sure, but he could have tried to overcome her fear by courting her with respect and restraint. I agree pretty wholly with TheOtherDave’s reading.