Eliezer said in the comments that it was in fact a fully fleshed out idea, but taken from a different story, and that it didn’t seem right in the context of this story because it belonged to a different universe.
But yes, the out-of-placeness is noticeable.
Eliezer said in the comments that it was in fact a fully fleshed out idea, but taken from a different story, and that it didn’t seem right in the context of this story because it belonged to a different universe.
But yes, the out-of-placeness is noticeable.