My claim is that frequently I’ve heard women think a guy does not want to have sex with them because, in spite of kissing, making up, going with her to a comfortable place, and removing his clothes, he does not get an erection as expected.
But this is not how the nervous system does its sex stuff. Not excited and Nervous produce the same outside non-erect view, and girls tend to feel they are not excited, instead of conceding that his sympathetic system is activated, and he’ll have a snowball effect (The following is based on hearsay, NOT on papers, evidence, etc...) “God, I’m nervous, now I’m not excited, now I wish I was excited, so let’s get excited. Oh no, I’m even more nervous, there is no way I can get an erection with this high heartbeat now unless I masturbate, or she does, but that would be weird. What do I do?” and the girl is thinking “Why isn’t he excited? Ten minutes ago we had clothes on and he was excited, now I removed my clothes and he is not excited, it must be because I’m not exciting, oh man, I feel embarrassed for not being exciting (then she enters a mild paralysis mode, letting the body stay still)”.
I think both genders would benefit from women knowing that by being clumsy, touching a guy even when he is not having an erection (due to nervousness because he is superexcited) they can erase the snowball effect, and get back to party mode. Sure if a guy really is not excited, he would not have gone all the way through the naked in bed stage to begin with.
How do you know that touching the guys penis is the best course of action for the woman in that circumstance?
If the guy is nervous the girl could also say: “No, need to be nervous. You look awesome.” The girl could spend 10-20 minutes relaxing the guy before moving on to sex.
To know what constitutes a good strategy you would need to ask a woman who actually tried multiple approaches to handle the situation.
Here are the initial letters of names of women I specifically talked to about this M, T, F, V, G, G, J, C, I, D, T, A, L, C, E.
About other things a girl can do. I mentioned reassurance 3 times, even exemplifying with “It’s okay”.
The reason why I mentioned touching specifically is because many women, specially when young, are not sure when or if they should touch a guy, and by and large all women with whom I ever spoke (2 exceptions come to mind) said they do not touch a guy’s genitals unless he is excited (hard) already.
I’m sure other things that do the same—Deactivate the sympathetic, while activating the parasympathetic—could also have the same effect. A hot bathtub comes to mind, but is not handy or quick enough. Stopping for a while and focusing attention in anything else that isn’t making him nervous also works, but it is not that quick either. Both can be done, should be done, if they are available options at the time. Touching is kind of “forcing” the system, but the system (both guys and girls) kind of likes to be touched under sexual circumstances. I had no intention of saying “be a pervert” because touching people’s parts is part of everyone’s lives, though sometimes not that openly spoken about.
My claim is that frequently I’ve heard women think a guy does not want to have sex with them because, in spite of kissing, making up, going with her to a comfortable place, and removing his clothes, he does not get an erection as expected. But this is not how the nervous system does its sex stuff. Not excited and Nervous produce the same outside non-erect view, and girls tend to feel they are not excited, instead of conceding that his sympathetic system is activated, and he’ll have a snowball effect (The following is based on hearsay, NOT on papers, evidence, etc...) “God, I’m nervous, now I’m not excited, now I wish I was excited, so let’s get excited. Oh no, I’m even more nervous, there is no way I can get an erection with this high heartbeat now unless I masturbate, or she does, but that would be weird. What do I do?” and the girl is thinking “Why isn’t he excited? Ten minutes ago we had clothes on and he was excited, now I removed my clothes and he is not excited, it must be because I’m not exciting, oh man, I feel embarrassed for not being exciting (then she enters a mild paralysis mode, letting the body stay still)”.
I think both genders would benefit from women knowing that by being clumsy, touching a guy even when he is not having an erection (due to nervousness because he is superexcited) they can erase the snowball effect, and get back to party mode. Sure if a guy really is not excited, he would not have gone all the way through the naked in bed stage to begin with.
How do you know that touching the guys penis is the best course of action for the woman in that circumstance?
If the guy is nervous the girl could also say: “No, need to be nervous. You look awesome.” The girl could spend 10-20 minutes relaxing the guy before moving on to sex.
To know what constitutes a good strategy you would need to ask a woman who actually tried multiple approaches to handle the situation.
Here are the initial letters of names of women I specifically talked to about this M, T, F, V, G, G, J, C, I, D, T, A, L, C, E.
About other things a girl can do. I mentioned reassurance 3 times, even exemplifying with “It’s okay”.
The reason why I mentioned touching specifically is because many women, specially when young, are not sure when or if they should touch a guy, and by and large all women with whom I ever spoke (2 exceptions come to mind) said they do not touch a guy’s genitals unless he is excited (hard) already.
I’m sure other things that do the same—Deactivate the sympathetic, while activating the parasympathetic—could also have the same effect. A hot bathtub comes to mind, but is not handy or quick enough. Stopping for a while and focusing attention in anything else that isn’t making him nervous also works, but it is not that quick either. Both can be done, should be done, if they are available options at the time. Touching is kind of “forcing” the system, but the system (both guys and girls) kind of likes to be touched under sexual circumstances. I had no intention of saying “be a pervert” because touching people’s parts is part of everyone’s lives, though sometimes not that openly spoken about.