Ditto. Gears, I didn’t downvote your comments until you deleted them. It’s now hard to see why I wrote what I did. I think that’s bad form.
That said, I read you (Gears) as being overwhelmed here. I’m guessing you wanted to delete your comments because you’re both hurting and feeling unseen/unsupported. Pulling out, including deleting your comments, totally makes sense to me in that context I’m imagining you in.
In the future, if you have to do that, I think it would be kinder to make some kind of note about that in the deleted comment.
Even better would be to use strikethrough with a comment saying something like “This is beyond my capacity to keep engaging in, I’ll leave this here so others can understand the exchange, but I’m checking out and ask not to be pulled in or expected to reply.”
But I also recognize this is an intense and painful topic for you. I understand if all of those options are out of emotional range for you.
But in case they’re not out of range in the future, that’d at least have avoided my and Said’s downvotes!
Ditto. Gears, I didn’t downvote your comments until you deleted them. It’s now hard to see why I wrote what I did. I think that’s bad form.
That said, I read you (Gears) as being overwhelmed here. I’m guessing you wanted to delete your comments because you’re both hurting and feeling unseen/unsupported. Pulling out, including deleting your comments, totally makes sense to me in that context I’m imagining you in.
In the future, if you have to do that, I think it would be kinder to make some kind of note about that in the deleted comment.
Even better would be to use
strikethroughwith a comment saying something like “This is beyond my capacity to keep engaging in, I’ll leave this here so others can understand the exchange, but I’m checking out and ask not to be pulled in or expected to reply.”But I also recognize this is an intense and painful topic for you. I understand if all of those options are out of emotional range for you.
But in case they’re not out of range in the future, that’d at least have avoided my and Said’s downvotes!