This actually isn’t a gendered issue. “Fat acceptance” and “Nerd acceptance” are two sides of the same coin, but both sides insist it is gendered.
Sexual deprivation has real psychological effects. Shit, we should -expect- it to have real psychological effects; you’re failing to function as the wind-up toy evolution designed you as. Why do people deny the psychological effects? Why do -you- deny the psychological effects, and insist they can just be overcome?
Because, by the standard morality of our society, problems must be solved. Admitting that it’s a genuine issue for these people implies some obligation to do something about it, which implies some obligation by some people to have sex with other people, and that’s just wrong.
Personally? I think it’s fine to say that it’s sad that some people lack what is probably the most fundamental kind of affirmation. And I think it’s fine to say that it’s sad, and I think it’s fine to say that, y’know, the situation sucks for them, and they shouldn’t just pretend otherwise. And I can think it’s sad, and the situation sucks, without thinking that implies some kind of sexual obligation.
When you can’t say there is a problem without also believing the problem can, and should, be solved, the problem to be solved often becomes the problem itself. And either the problem to be solved is that these individuals don’t get sex—but the solution to that is both immediately obvious and immediately unacceptable—or the problem is the way these individuals -feel-, as a result of not getting sex. And because they can’t acknowledge a problem without believing it can and should be solved, they choose the problem whose solution is acceptable to them: The problem is with the people who are suffering, rather than the suffering itself.
This actually isn’t a gendered issue. “Fat acceptance” and “Nerd acceptance” are two sides of the same coin, but both sides insist it is gendered.
Sexual deprivation has real psychological effects. Shit, we should -expect- it to have real psychological effects; you’re failing to function as the wind-up toy evolution designed you as. Why do people deny the psychological effects? Why do -you- deny the psychological effects, and insist they can just be overcome?
Because, by the standard morality of our society, problems must be solved. Admitting that it’s a genuine issue for these people implies some obligation to do something about it, which implies some obligation by some people to have sex with other people, and that’s just wrong.
Personally? I think it’s fine to say that it’s sad that some people lack what is probably the most fundamental kind of affirmation. And I think it’s fine to say that it’s sad, and I think it’s fine to say that, y’know, the situation sucks for them, and they shouldn’t just pretend otherwise. And I can think it’s sad, and the situation sucks, without thinking that implies some kind of sexual obligation.
When you can’t say there is a problem without also believing the problem can, and should, be solved, the problem to be solved often becomes the problem itself. And either the problem to be solved is that these individuals don’t get sex—but the solution to that is both immediately obvious and immediately unacceptable—or the problem is the way these individuals -feel-, as a result of not getting sex. And because they can’t acknowledge a problem without believing it can and should be solved, they choose the problem whose solution is acceptable to them: The problem is with the people who are suffering, rather than the suffering itself.