It seems like not ok mode is the mode of ‘get others to see my panic and create a plan, whereas ok mode is the mode of ‘create my own plan’. Interestingly, this seems almost the opposite of your model.
One could imagine a 3 by 2.
Sees reality clearly
Sees a problem in reality
Is in ok mode
It seems like the best place to be is yes in all 3, but it’s probably better to be yes yes no than no no yes.
It seems quite important to separate OK mode from the state of the world (see also, Nates article on detaching the grimometer).
There is a problem, and that’s ok.
I’m freaking out about it, and that’s ok.
I have a response-ability o fix it, and that’s ok.
Everything is ok, because what else could it be? . Reality is the way it is, and thats ok.
Ok, what do I do now?
It seems like not ok mode is the mode of ‘get others to see my panic and create a plan, whereas ok mode is the mode of ‘create my own plan’. Interestingly, this seems almost the opposite of your model.
One could imagine a 3 by 2.
Sees reality clearly
Sees a problem in reality
Is in ok mode
It seems like the best place to be is yes in all 3, but it’s probably better to be yes yes no than no no yes.
(It seems to me that the OP was about people interacting, not just personal preferences.)
Did you think the comment above missed something about that dynamic? I was meaning it to apply to interactions as well.