Actually, there’s one more important thing I should add: I have conclusive evidence that Alicorn has much to gain from getting over this dislike, by her very own standards. I can prove this by showing that she enjoys my posting, and wishes to reply to—and even provoke—my posting, just so long as she knows it’s not me. That shows a critical failure to apply her advice when could actually do some good, or at least a failure to recognize a set of heuristics that correctly indicate when the advice should be used.
So why is Alicorn’s advice particularly insightful on this subject?
One possible reason Alicorn hasn’t applied her technique to you is that it simply isn’t powerful enough to overcome your unpleasantness. FWIW, I perceive you as a lot less civil than the LW norm, you seem possessed of a snarky combativeness. You also appear to have a tendency of fixating on personal annoyances and justifying your focus with concerns and observations that pop out of nowhere, context-wise.
In this case, your supposed insight into what would really be best for Alicorn plays that role. And then, having established this “lemma”, you carry through to the conclusion that… Alicorn’s behavior is inconsistent. Take a step back, and look at what you’re saying. You’re basically claiming to have reverse-engineered someone else’s utility function, as the premise of an argument which concludes that they’re being a hypocrite.
I hope you’ll come to see this sort of behavior as embarrassing.
I do not know you and I do not know Alicorn. I do not know who I would have the most sympathy for if I did know both of you. I find this whole discussion off topic. Alicorn gave some advice and I find the advice interesting whether she follows it or not, whether she even believes it or not.
It is very good advice (if and only if you may want from time to time to like someone that you have come to dislike). I personally have tried to develop ways to not start to dislike people in the first place and not worry about whether liking them is to my advantage. However, it has not always been the case that I could like someone and it was sometimes to my disadvantage - so I appreciate the advice.
I suggest that you judge the advice and not the person who gave it. The ‘others of us’ are not interested in this fight.
So why is Alicorn’s advice particularly insightful on this subject?
Again, because she’s not giving advice on knowing when you ought to like someone. She’s giving advice on what to do after you have decided that you ought to like someone, even though you don’t like them automatically.
No, she’s listing advice that can be used to like someone or remove dislike. And yet she’s shown a solid history of the advice’s complete ineffectiveness (or her belief in its ineffectiveness) when a frequent commenter on her favorite message board is causing her “undesirable peripheral psychological” harm by virtue of her extreme dislike!
If that’s not relevant to showing her advice to be phony, what would be? And why should I have stayed silent on the existence of these two Alicorns?
Alicorn’s time and attention and energy belong to her, not to you.
That forms a large part of why I’ve never suggested otherwise, and of why you figured it would be so hot-shot to pretend I meant otherwise.
Alcorn’s time/etc. do belong to her. The right to exclude my comments from public discussion does not. The right to lie about the tremendous psychological terror I’m inducing in her doesn’t belong to her either.
*Hence the disagreement.*
If you’re trying to get people to think worse of her and better of you, you don’t seem to be succeeding.
If I can be the one person willing to go on record on her “masterful” control of her dislike, I’ll gladly take the minor karma hit … though mine’s actually gone up since I started posting in the discussion, if you can even fathom that.
And yet she’s shown a solid history of the advice’s complete ineffectiveness (or her belief in its ineffectiveness) when a frequent commenter on her favorite message board is causing her “undesirable peripheral psychological” harm by virtue of her extreme dislike!
Of course her advice is ineffective if one has decided to dislike someone. But this is no mark against her, because her advice is entirely about what to do after one decides not to dislike someone.
If that’s not relevant to showing her advice to be phony, what would be?
What would be relevant would be a case where she had decided to like someone, applied the advice in the OP, and yet failed to like the other person. Also relevant would be a general theoretical argument that the techniques in the OP wouldn’t get you (the general you) to like someone even after you had decided that you ought to.
And why should I have stayed silent on the existence of these two Alicorns?
Actually, there’s one more important thing I should add: I have conclusive evidence that Alicorn has much to gain from getting over this dislike, by her very own standards. I can prove this by showing that she enjoys my posting, and wishes to reply to—and even provoke—my posting, just so long as she knows it’s not me. That shows a critical failure to apply her advice when could actually do some good, or at least a failure to recognize a set of heuristics that correctly indicate when the advice should be used.
So why is Alicorn’s advice particularly insightful on this subject?
One possible reason Alicorn hasn’t applied her technique to you is that it simply isn’t powerful enough to overcome your unpleasantness. FWIW, I perceive you as a lot less civil than the LW norm, you seem possessed of a snarky combativeness. You also appear to have a tendency of fixating on personal annoyances and justifying your focus with concerns and observations that pop out of nowhere, context-wise.
In this case, your supposed insight into what would really be best for Alicorn plays that role. And then, having established this “lemma”, you carry through to the conclusion that… Alicorn’s behavior is inconsistent. Take a step back, and look at what you’re saying. You’re basically claiming to have reverse-engineered someone else’s utility function, as the premise of an argument which concludes that they’re being a hypocrite.
I hope you’ll come to see this sort of behavior as embarrassing.
“FWIW” == “For What It’s Worth,” to save a few person-minutes for other passive readers here.
I wish I could upvote this 10 or 20 times
I do not know you and I do not know Alicorn. I do not know who I would have the most sympathy for if I did know both of you. I find this whole discussion off topic. Alicorn gave some advice and I find the advice interesting whether she follows it or not, whether she even believes it or not.
It is very good advice (if and only if you may want from time to time to like someone that you have come to dislike). I personally have tried to develop ways to not start to dislike people in the first place and not worry about whether liking them is to my advantage. However, it has not always been the case that I could like someone and it was sometimes to my disadvantage - so I appreciate the advice.
I suggest that you judge the advice and not the person who gave it. The ‘others of us’ are not interested in this fight.
Again, because she’s not giving advice on knowing when you ought to like someone. She’s giving advice on what to do after you have decided that you ought to like someone, even though you don’t like them automatically.
No, she’s listing advice that can be used to like someone or remove dislike. And yet she’s shown a solid history of the advice’s complete ineffectiveness (or her belief in its ineffectiveness) when a frequent commenter on her favorite message board is causing her “undesirable peripheral psychological” harm by virtue of her extreme dislike!
If that’s not relevant to showing her advice to be phony, what would be? And why should I have stayed silent on the existence of these two Alicorns?
Alicorn’s time and attention and energy belong to her, not to you.
You’re free to have opinions about how she uses them, but you aren’t the final arbiter of what she’s doing.
If you’re trying to get people to think worse of her and better of you, you don’t seem to be succeeding.
That forms a large part of why I’ve never suggested otherwise, and of why you figured it would be so hot-shot to pretend I meant otherwise.
Alcorn’s time/etc. do belong to her. The right to exclude my comments from public discussion does not. The right to lie about the tremendous psychological terror I’m inducing in her doesn’t belong to her either.
*Hence the disagreement.*
If I can be the one person willing to go on record on her “masterful” control of her dislike, I’ll gladly take the minor karma hit … though mine’s actually gone up since I started posting in the discussion, if you can even fathom that.
I reply to this point here.
Since you’re being so thorough, want to reply to the rest of the comment? Or do you feel that was done adequately elsewhere?
Of course her advice is ineffective if one has decided to dislike someone. But this is no mark against her, because her advice is entirely about what to do after one decides not to dislike someone.
What would be relevant would be a case where she had decided to like someone, applied the advice in the OP, and yet failed to like the other person. Also relevant would be a general theoretical argument that the techniques in the OP wouldn’t get you (the general you) to like someone even after you had decided that you ought to.
Because your criticisms do not address the OP.