I find it very hard to actually dislike any particular person in a concrete sense. Abstractly, a trait or a group? Sure. Otherwise, “tout comprendre c’est tout pardonner”, right? I might actually lean too far in this direction.. my mind immediately jumps to defend perceived faults by inventing possible reasons for them.
However, I’ve never been able to cultivate admiration, just grudging respect.
Having a whole project around liking someone seems like too much effort to me. Why do it? I’m more likely to find a less perception-based solution. (I am loathe to change my perceptions for instrumental reasons. It may also be partly that I score very low on Agreeability, and don’t particularly value social harmony.)
Perhaps I’ve already sidestepped most of the disutilities? I can’t think of anyone I actually truly dislike. It’s an interesting (and impressive) exercise, but I don’t see it as very relevant to my own life. Something like how I trained myself not to be ticklish when I was young.
Tickling was a major weapon amongst kids I played with back when I was in elementary school (along with pinching, but only girls did that). I had the notion that “this would never do!” and “I have to worry about this all the time!” Somehow that got it in my head to try to desensitize myself to tickling.
I’d heard that it was impossible to tickle yourself, and after TRYING it, I took a guess: maybe it was because you already knew where and how you were going to be tickled?
Iteration 1: Quickly tickle myself by randomly flailing my arms at various places on my body. No dice.
Iteration 2: Notice that I’d synchronized my arms in the first iteration. Tried desynch-ing them. Still no good.
Iteration 3: Tried also using a feather in one hand. Nope.
Iteration 4: Closed my eyes in the process. I could feel the ticklish feeling!
Iteration 5: Did all of the above in an extremely dark, closed closet. Worked!
After I figured this out, I repeated the process a few times while gradually slowing down the speed of tickling. I’ve been non-ticklish since then. Caveats: some sensitivity has come back in my feet; less so around my stomach; I do not recall how ticklish I was before this desensitization.
tl;dr—I sat in a dark closet, with a feather in my hand, closed my eyes, and proceeded to flail my arms/fingers randomly at myself
Like RichardKennaway, I can already tickle myself on Iteration 1.
I’m not sure I would normally want to try this method, since my initial goal is not to be tickled as I find it unpleasant. (I can’t sit through a massage either because it tickles.)
In the interest of self-experimentation, I’ll give it a go. Richard, as a control could you stand in a dark closet and lift your shirt for ten minutes? I am at least half kidding.
I wish I had a better suggestion besides, “try going very very slowly at first—maybe just one finger.” I mean, surely you can touch yourself without bursting out laughing?
I find it very hard to actually dislike any particular person in a concrete sense. Abstractly, a trait or a group? Sure. Otherwise, “tout comprendre c’est tout pardonner”, right? I might actually lean too far in this direction.. my mind immediately jumps to defend perceived faults by inventing possible reasons for them.
However, I’ve never been able to cultivate admiration, just grudging respect.
Having a whole project around liking someone seems like too much effort to me. Why do it? I’m more likely to find a less perception-based solution. (I am loathe to change my perceptions for instrumental reasons. It may also be partly that I score very low on Agreeability, and don’t particularly value social harmony.)
Perhaps I’ve already sidestepped most of the disutilities? I can’t think of anyone I actually truly dislike. It’s an interesting (and impressive) exercise, but I don’t see it as very relevant to my own life. Something like how I trained myself not to be ticklish when I was young.
How did you train yourself not to be ticklish? My life would benefit if I weren’t ticklish.
Story, then tl;dr follows -
Tickling was a major weapon amongst kids I played with back when I was in elementary school (along with pinching, but only girls did that). I had the notion that “this would never do!” and “I have to worry about this all the time!” Somehow that got it in my head to try to desensitize myself to tickling.
I’d heard that it was impossible to tickle yourself, and after TRYING it, I took a guess: maybe it was because you already knew where and how you were going to be tickled?
Iteration 1: Quickly tickle myself by randomly flailing my arms at various places on my body. No dice.
Iteration 2: Notice that I’d synchronized my arms in the first iteration. Tried desynch-ing them. Still no good.
Iteration 3: Tried also using a feather in one hand. Nope.
Iteration 4: Closed my eyes in the process. I could feel the ticklish feeling!
Iteration 5: Did all of the above in an extremely dark, closed closet. Worked!
After I figured this out, I repeated the process a few times while gradually slowing down the speed of tickling. I’ve been non-ticklish since then. Caveats: some sensitivity has come back in my feet; less so around my stomach; I do not recall how ticklish I was before this desensitization.
tl;dr—I sat in a dark closet, with a feather in my hand, closed my eyes, and proceeded to flail my arms/fingers randomly at myself
Like RichardKennaway, I can already tickle myself on Iteration 1. I’m not sure I would normally want to try this method, since my initial goal is not to be tickled as I find it unpleasant. (I can’t sit through a massage either because it tickles.) In the interest of self-experimentation, I’ll give it a go. Richard, as a control could you stand in a dark closet and lift your shirt for ten minutes? I am at least half kidding.
I wish I had a better suggestion besides, “try going very very slowly at first—maybe just one finger.” I mean, surely you can touch yourself without bursting out laughing?
Seconded. I’d like to hear this as well. I am ticklish enough to be able to tickle myself, popularly supposed to be impossible.