I want to share my parenting experience and knowledge.
I think positive parenting is undervalued and many parents appear to have no structured idea of how to help their children develop all those interesting or necessary abilities—in an easy and fun way.
I am under the impression that my own parenting efforts were quite successful, well-informed and non-demanding.
I think one part of the success was to know about and have a plan for providing learning and development opportunities for my children for each week, month, year.
My idea is to share my approach and make suggestions for children of all ages available online.
I am right now developing a platform which automatically suggests suitable activities based on the estimated developmental age and the ratings of prior suggested activities. I want to combine this with a wordpress based blog where the activities and other parenting posts can be discussed. I have also started collecting seed posts for the blog.
I got the impression that some LW parents might like this idea and I’m wondering if and how my blog can be multilingual (I plan to write it primarily in German).
I’m interested in feedback about this idea and whether there are chances for possibe collaboration (guest posts, add-ons to the recommendation system, graphical design).
In short: I don’t aim to influence their personality. I have given up on that long ago. Instead I aim for knowledge. Knowledge is not heriditary and evolution better not throws knowledge passed on from parents to children out of the window.
I researched the effect I can have on the life success of my parenting and came to the concusion that effects exist—esp. at the high end of the spectrum. I haven’t written about that yet and need to pull the references together first. One quote from the Handbook of Parenting Vol. 4 I just looked up:
That variations in many developmental outcomes can be at least partly accounted for by individual
differences in parenting quality is a premise that has widespread empirical support. (Baumrind,
1970; Clarke-Stewart, 1973; Isabella and Belsky, 1991; Tamis-LeMonda, Bornstein, Baumwell, and
Damast, 1996). Conceptualizations of competent parenting, however, will by necessity depend on the
specific child outcomes of interest. Language development, for example, appears to be best fostered
by caregiving environments rich in language inputs, tailored to the child’s developmental level,
and responsive to the child’s bids to communicate (Bornstein and Tamis-LeMonda, 1997; Warren
and Walker, in press). Parent-provided language mastery experiences and parental responsivity to
child behavior are similarly important for promoting children’s intellectual development (Bornstein
and Tamis-LeMonda, 1989; Carew, 1980; Tamis-LeMonda et al., 1996), and to these we can add the
adequacy with which parents structure their children’s environments to be intellectually stimulating
(e.g., in terms of providing appropriately stimulating play materials and variety in daily stimulation;
Bradley, 1999). Attachment theorists, by contrast, would likely define competent parenting in terms
of parental sensitivity, or the ability of the parent to read and respond contingently and appropriately
to infant distress, bids for comfort, and cues for interaction and withdrawal (Ainsworth, Blehar,
Waters, and Wall, 1978; Belsky, 1999). Conceptualizations of parenting competence would also
differ in relation to age-related differences in children’s developmental competencies and specific
needs.
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For the Greman speakers this is the introductory paragraph I already wrote for the blog:
Erziehungsziele—Erziehungspremissen
Ich vermute, dass Werte oder zumindest wertekonformes Verhalten flüchtig sind, während Wissen und Kompetenzen erhalten bleiben und ein Fundament bilden.
Werte, die während der Kindheit anerzogen wurden, werden während der Pubertät auch durch die natürliche Gehirnentwicklung in Frage gestellt und die Jugendlichen finden ihre eigenen Werte—und setzen sie durch, rebellieren oder leiden ggf. unter dem resultierenden Konflikt.
Meinem Verständnis der Evolutionspsychologie nach nutzt dieses natürliche Verhalten den jungen Erwachsenen, da sie selbstbestimmt mehr (Fortpflanzungs-)Erfolg haben.
Ich glaube, dass Werte und Verhaltensweisen, die eingefordert oder unfreiwillig angenommen werden (und sozialer Druck kann da viele Formen annehmen) keine nachhaltige Wirkung haben. Selbst wenn die Eltern/Erzieher selber diesen Regeln folgen kann der gefühlte oder reale Druck zu Gegenreaktionen führen.
Wissen und Methodenkompetenzen jedoch gehen in der Pubertät nicht verloren (das wäre ja auch evolutionsmäßig kontraproduktiv). In der Erziehung in Wissen zu investieren ist also effizienter als in Werte.
Nichts desto trotz kommt man um Werte- oder Verhaltenserziehung nicht herum—sonst hat man es selbst nicht leicht und Erwartungen anderer werden enttäuscht. Und für die Kinder ist es auch nicht besser.
Ein Kompromiss den ich sehe ist, Werte und Verhaltensweisen nicht einzufordern, sondern als Wissen zu thematisieren. Das Wissen (inkl. die spielerische Erfahrung damit), welche akzeptablen oder problematischen Verhaltensweisen es gibt, ermöglicht es den Kindern später diese Verhaltensweisen nicht nur auszuüben (wenn sie es denn wollen), sondern auch bei anderen zu beobachten und zu reflektieren. Natürlich geht das erst wenn die Kinder in der Lage sind dies zu verstehen.
(Baumrind, 1970; Clarke-Stewart, 1973; Isabella and Belsky, 1991; Tamis-LeMonda, Bornstein, Baumwell, and Damast, 1996)
Out of curiosity, do any of these account for heritable factors such as by using behavioral genetics approaches or dealing with research like that summarized in The Nurture Assumption?
For the Greman speakers this is the introductory paragraph I already wrote for the blog: [...]
I’m not much of a writer, and this might not be the final version, but I still like giving advice.
I’d really like to see some citations and references here. Are all those opinions based only on you own observations or also from things you have read? Since I don’t have children, I’m not interested in the answer to that question, but your readers will be.
Werte, die während der Kindheit anerzogen wurden, werden während der Pubertät auch durch die natürliche Gehirnentwicklung in Frage gestellt
Ich würde “auch durch die natürliche Gehirnentwicklung” hier entfernen, da es eigentlich keine Informationen liefert. Außer du hättest villeicht irgend eine Referenz um deine Behauptunt (Werte werden in der Puberät in Frage gestellt) wissenschaftlich zu untermauern. Dann könnte das statdessen hin.
Meinem Verständnis der evolutionspsychologie nach nutzt dieses natürliche Verhalten den jungen Erwachsenen, da sie selbstbestimmt mehr (Fortpflanzungs-)Erfolg haben.
Zu sagen, dass etwas von Evolutionärem Nutzen ist, da es den Fortpflanzungserfolg steigert ist (zumindest nahezu) eine Tautologie, braucht also eigentlich nicht gesagt zu werden. Dass etwas was den evolutionären Erfolg steigert dem Individuum nutzen muss (du schreibst “nutzt [,,,] den jungen Erwachsenen”), stimmt meines Wissens nach nicht (Egoistisches Gen und so). Was ich hier wirklich gerne wissen möchte ist, warum Selbstbestimmtheit deiner Meinung nach den evolutionären Erfolg steigert.
Thank you for your feedback. Yes I have quite some references to back that up. I didn’t give them because they are unordered and incomplete and I just wrote the text as a first draft. I’m unclear about how to include them. Options I consider:
references only via linking correspondings passages
Inline references (short with links)
references at the end
writing separate posts with a focus on the particular referenced topic.
I’d really prefer the last one as it’d also bridge the inferencial gap behind it and I started to structure some post in that way, but it is also the most complex approach.
Ich glaube, dass Werte und Verhaltensweisen, die eingefordert oder unfreiwillig angenommen werden (und sozialer Druck kann da viele Formen annehmen) keine nachhaltige Wirkung haben. Selbst wenn die Eltern/Erzieher selber diesen Regeln folgen kann der gefühlte oder reale Druck zu Gegenreaktionen führen.
Rules (Regeln) and values (Werte) are two different things.
Developing what’s commonly called a “growth mindset” seems important and is something I would put under the category of values. It’s something where my teacher at school really messed up and that I learned later in life.
I want to share my parenting experience and knowledge. I think positive parenting is undervalued and many parents appear to have no structured idea of how to help their children develop all those interesting or necessary abilities—in an easy and fun way. I am under the impression that my own parenting efforts were quite successful, well-informed and non-demanding. I think one part of the success was to know about and have a plan for providing learning and development opportunities for my children for each week, month, year.
My idea is to share my approach and make suggestions for children of all ages available online. I am right now developing a platform which automatically suggests suitable activities based on the estimated developmental age and the ratings of prior suggested activities. I want to combine this with a wordpress based blog where the activities and other parenting posts can be discussed. I have also started collecting seed posts for the blog. I got the impression that some LW parents might like this idea and I’m wondering if and how my blog can be multilingual (I plan to write it primarily in German).
I’m interested in feedback about this idea and whether there are chances for possibe collaboration (guest posts, add-ons to the recommendation system, graphical design).
What do you think about The Nurture Assumption?
In short: I don’t aim to influence their personality. I have given up on that long ago. Instead I aim for knowledge. Knowledge is not heriditary and evolution better not throws knowledge passed on from parents to children out of the window.
I researched the effect I can have on the life success of my parenting and came to the concusion that effects exist—esp. at the high end of the spectrum. I haven’t written about that yet and need to pull the references together first. One quote from the Handbook of Parenting Vol. 4 I just looked up:
--
For the Greman speakers this is the introductory paragraph I already wrote for the blog:
Out of curiosity, do any of these account for heritable factors such as by using behavioral genetics approaches or dealing with research like that summarized in The Nurture Assumption?
I’m not much of a writer, and this might not be the final version, but I still like giving advice.
I’d really like to see some citations and references here. Are all those opinions based only on you own observations or also from things you have read? Since I don’t have children, I’m not interested in the answer to that question, but your readers will be.
Ich würde “auch durch die natürliche Gehirnentwicklung” hier entfernen, da es eigentlich keine Informationen liefert. Außer du hättest villeicht irgend eine Referenz um deine Behauptunt (Werte werden in der Puberät in Frage gestellt) wissenschaftlich zu untermauern. Dann könnte das statdessen hin.
Zu sagen, dass etwas von Evolutionärem Nutzen ist, da es den Fortpflanzungserfolg steigert ist (zumindest nahezu) eine Tautologie, braucht also eigentlich nicht gesagt zu werden. Dass etwas was den evolutionären Erfolg steigert dem Individuum nutzen muss (du schreibst “nutzt [,,,] den jungen Erwachsenen”), stimmt meines Wissens nach nicht (Egoistisches Gen und so). Was ich hier wirklich gerne wissen möchte ist, warum Selbstbestimmtheit deiner Meinung nach den evolutionären Erfolg steigert.
Thank you for your feedback. Yes I have quite some references to back that up. I didn’t give them because they are unordered and incomplete and I just wrote the text as a first draft. I’m unclear about how to include them. Options I consider:
references only via linking correspondings passages
Inline references (short with links)
references at the end
writing separate posts with a focus on the particular referenced topic.
I’d really prefer the last one as it’d also bridge the inferencial gap behind it and I started to structure some post in that way, but it is also the most complex approach.
Rules (Regeln) and values (Werte) are two different things. Developing what’s commonly called a “growth mindset” seems important and is something I would put under the category of values. It’s something where my teacher at school really messed up and that I learned later in life.
A refreshing breath of good style in German instead of the usual drivel I get links to, thank you.