Both are important, but I disagree that power is always needed. In example 3,7,9 it isn’t clear that the compromise is actually better for the convinced party. The insurance is likely -EV, The peas aren’t actually a crux to defeating the bully, the child would likely be happier outside kindergarten.
I see what you mean! If you look closely, I think you’ll find that power is involved in even these cases. The examples of the father and child depend on the father having the power of his child’s trust. He can exploit this to trick his child and misrepresent the benefits of school or of eating peas.
The case of the insurance salesman is even more important to consider. You are right that insurance policies always have negative expected value in terms of money. But they may have positive expected value to the right buyer. Ann insurance policy can confer status on the buyer, who can put his wife’s mind at ease that he’s protected her and their children from the worst. It’s also protection against loss aversion and a commitment device to put money away for a worst-case scenario, without having to think too hard about it.
But in order to use his enthusiasm to persuade the customer of this benefit, the salesman has to get a job with an insurance company and have a policy worth selling. That’s the power he has to have first, in order to make his persuasion successful.
I disagree that the policy must be worth selling (see e.g. Jordon Belfort). Many salespeople can sell things that aren’t worth buying. See also: never split the difference for an example of negotiation when you have little/worse leverage.
(Also, I don’t think htwfaip boils down to satisfying an eager want, the other advice is super important too. E.g. don’t criticize, be genuinely interested in a person, …)
Both are important, but I disagree that power is always needed. In example 3,7,9 it isn’t clear that the compromise is actually better for the convinced party. The insurance is likely -EV, The peas aren’t actually a crux to defeating the bully, the child would likely be happier outside kindergarten.
I see what you mean! If you look closely, I think you’ll find that power is involved in even these cases. The examples of the father and child depend on the father having the power of his child’s trust. He can exploit this to trick his child and misrepresent the benefits of school or of eating peas.
The case of the insurance salesman is even more important to consider. You are right that insurance policies always have negative expected value in terms of money. But they may have positive expected value to the right buyer. Ann insurance policy can confer status on the buyer, who can put his wife’s mind at ease that he’s protected her and their children from the worst. It’s also protection against loss aversion and a commitment device to put money away for a worst-case scenario, without having to think too hard about it.
But in order to use his enthusiasm to persuade the customer of this benefit, the salesman has to get a job with an insurance company and have a policy worth selling. That’s the power he has to have first, in order to make his persuasion successful.
I disagree that the policy must be worth selling (see e.g. Jordon Belfort). Many salespeople can sell things that aren’t worth buying. See also: never split the difference for an example of negotiation when you have little/worse leverage.
(Also, I don’t think htwfaip boils down to satisfying an eager want, the other advice is super important too. E.g. don’t criticize, be genuinely interested in a person, …)