That is very likely, but you are assuming a large social circle is an unalloyed blessing.
I definitely don’t think it is. Too large a social circle can be unwieldy to manage, eating up a ton of someone’s time for the sake of a huge variety of shallow and uninteresting relationships, even if somehow every person in said social circle is interesting. I don’t mean to imply that everyone should strive to broaden their social circle by any means. There are plenty of people who don’t feel socially isolated at all, and there are even plenty of people with the opposite problem.
I think there are at least two failure modes here: one is to assume the mantle of the suffering lone genius and descent into misanthropy; but the other one is to suppress one’s weirdness, start talking mostly about beer and baseball (or makeup and gossip) and descent into mediocrity.
I don’t deny the existence of uninteresting people, but I think the descent into misanthropy failure mode is more common to high-intelligence people who feel socially isolated than the other failure mode, and hope that trying to more accurately assess people based on varied criteria and hack one’s perception to see more people as interesting will not necessarily lead to dumbing down one’s interests in order to relate to people on a more least-common-denominator basis. That’s a choice that can be made once you’ve assessed people more accurately or favorably, and definitely one that doesn’t have to be made just because you’ve updated your beliefs about the people you encounter.
I don’t know if getting stuck on the definition of intelligence is the underlying problem such people are having. I would probably reformulate your position as advice to see people as diverse and multidimensional, to recognize that there are multiple qualities which might make people attractive and interesting. You are basically arguing against a single-axis evaluation of others and that’s a valid point but I think it can be made directly without the whole “tabooing the word” context.
I agree with you, and in fact my original comment mentioned that “intelligence” is not the only single-axis evaluation label that people use. I think a more general phrasing might be “identify social single-axis fast-comparators that may be causing you to have cached first impressions about people. Fix your assessments by tabooing whatever label you happen to use, and making new assessments based on trying to counter your initial impression (Identify strengths of people you initially dislike, weaknesses of people you initially like too much). You may not change your mind about those people upon closer inspection, but it’s still worthwhile to do as an exercise, particularly if you are unsatisfied with your social circle in general or your relationships with particular people.”
Intelligence happens to be a pretty common single-axis comparator people I know (and relevant clusters to the LW population) use often.
I definitely don’t think it is. Too large a social circle can be unwieldy to manage, eating up a ton of someone’s time for the sake of a huge variety of shallow and uninteresting relationships, even if somehow every person in said social circle is interesting. I don’t mean to imply that everyone should strive to broaden their social circle by any means. There are plenty of people who don’t feel socially isolated at all, and there are even plenty of people with the opposite problem.
I don’t deny the existence of uninteresting people, but I think the descent into misanthropy failure mode is more common to high-intelligence people who feel socially isolated than the other failure mode, and hope that trying to more accurately assess people based on varied criteria and hack one’s perception to see more people as interesting will not necessarily lead to dumbing down one’s interests in order to relate to people on a more least-common-denominator basis. That’s a choice that can be made once you’ve assessed people more accurately or favorably, and definitely one that doesn’t have to be made just because you’ve updated your beliefs about the people you encounter.
I agree with you, and in fact my original comment mentioned that “intelligence” is not the only single-axis evaluation label that people use. I think a more general phrasing might be “identify social single-axis fast-comparators that may be causing you to have cached first impressions about people. Fix your assessments by tabooing whatever label you happen to use, and making new assessments based on trying to counter your initial impression (Identify strengths of people you initially dislike, weaknesses of people you initially like too much). You may not change your mind about those people upon closer inspection, but it’s still worthwhile to do as an exercise, particularly if you are unsatisfied with your social circle in general or your relationships with particular people.”
Intelligence happens to be a pretty common single-axis comparator people I know (and relevant clusters to the LW population) use often.
I think we’re in general agreement :-)