Here I present you with a technique known as “softening”.
Use case: only when you are presenting yourself as above the average people of a particular context or when you are comparing yourself with someone with a very strong positive status.
When not to use it: when you are presenting others above everyone else, as it’s perceived as a praise although never taken literally (“she is smarter than Einstein”), or when you compare yourself with someone with a very strong negative status, as it’s perceived as irony (“I’m less coordinated than an epileptic”). Never compare yourself with someone with a very strong negative status for real, as it generates strong mistrust.
That said, to soften a comparison: you first bring up everyone else to the positive example, then you compare yourself to that.
You did that correctly with the doctor example and the MLK explanation:
Just as a doctor is required to study 10k hours to become a master of the trade, to become an accomplished rationalist requires that much study, and it’s an effort I’ve undertaken.
Everyone can learn to feel the universal love exemplified by MLK, and I too have learned to do that;
Here I present you with a technique known as “softening”.
Use case: only when you are presenting yourself as above the average people of a particular context or when you are comparing yourself with someone with a very strong positive status.
When not to use it: when you are presenting others above everyone else, as it’s perceived as a praise although never taken literally (“she is smarter than Einstein”), or when you compare yourself with someone with a very strong negative status, as it’s perceived as irony (“I’m less coordinated than an epileptic”). Never compare yourself with someone with a very strong negative status for real, as it generates strong mistrust.
That said, to soften a comparison: you first bring up everyone else to the positive example, then you compare yourself to that.
You did that correctly with the doctor example and the MLK explanation:
Just as a doctor is required to study 10k hours to become a master of the trade, to become an accomplished rationalist requires that much study, and it’s an effort I’ve undertaken.
Everyone can learn to feel the universal love exemplified by MLK, and I too have learned to do that;
you just didn’t know it was necessary.
Thanks, this is really helpful.