It seems like your model is more specific than just “people have mismatched expectations.” There, the possibilities are endless.
I see your model as more positive: “people have sometimes just a handful of relationship types that they associate very strongly with mostly separate and unambiguous clusters of signals. Call this their ‘social stance repertoire’. But two people may have different social stance repertoires, and this leads to mismatched expectations.”
I think this suggests helpful and productive ways of getting more clear. We can imagine a “social stance inventory” discussion where two people talk about the categories they have and what signals feel connected to them.
It seems like your model is more specific than just “people have mismatched expectations.” There, the possibilities are endless.
I see your model as more positive: “people have sometimes just a handful of relationship types that they associate very strongly with mostly separate and unambiguous clusters of signals. Call this their ‘social stance repertoire’. But two people may have different social stance repertoires, and this leads to mismatched expectations.”
I think this suggests helpful and productive ways of getting more clear. We can imagine a “social stance inventory” discussion where two people talk about the categories they have and what signals feel connected to them.