When you’re thinking about how to tell Fred that he’s talking too much in staff meetings, start by asking yourself what it would look like if Fred were exceptionally awesome at that instead of deficient. This helps you visualize a complete forward-to-backward axis. Then you can frame your message to Fred in terms of moving forward on the spectrum toward awesomeness.
This somewhat reminds me of the approach used in e.g. solution-focused brief therapy, which starts by getting the client to describe what would look like a better state to them, and then proceeds to figure out steps that would lead there:
In a specific situation, the counselor may ask,
“If you woke up tomorrow, and a miracle happened so that you no longer easily lost your temper, what would you see differently?” “What would the first signs be that the miracle occurred?”
The client, in this example, (a child) may respond by saying,
“I would not get upset when somebody calls me names.”
The counselor wants the client to develop positive goals, or what they will do—rather than what they will not do—to better ensure success. So, the counselor may ask the client, “What will you be doing instead when someone calls you names?”
“Suppose tonight, while you slept, a miracle occurred. When you awake tomorrow, what would be some of the things you would notice that would tell you life had suddenly gotten better?”
The therapist stays with the question even if the client describes an “impossible” solution, such as a deceased person being alive, and acknowledges that wish and then asks “how would that make a difference in your life?” Then as the client describes that he/she might feel as if they have their companion back again, the therapist asks “how would that make a difference?” With that, the client may say, “I would have someone to confide in and support me.” From there, the therapist would ask the client to think of others in the client’s life who could begin to be a confidant in a very small manner.
This somewhat reminds me of the approach used in e.g. solution-focused brief therapy, which starts by getting the client to describe what would look like a better state to them, and then proceeds to figure out steps that would lead there:
And: