Personally one of the reasons I enjoy social drinking is the mutual lowering of barriers. In everyday interaction people are routinely concealing their true feelings and intentions. Consuming alcohol forces them to reveal more of their true feelings and provides a social setting where this is acceptable. I find you trust and understand people better having been drunk with them.
Consequently, someone refusing to drink is implicitly trying to conceal their true feelings to a greater degree, which makes them seem less trustworthy/friendly.
I have found that drunk people aren’t as capable of concealing their true feelings or beliefs as sober people, such that people who are concealing those things to a significant degree are easier to understand when drunk… I agree with that much. But I’ve also found that drunk people aren’t as capable of expressing their feelings or beliefs with any clarity as sober people, such that people whose feelings or beliefs are significantly complex are easier to understand when sober.
I suppose the tradeoff has to do with how much I value knowing the simple feelings/beliefs that my friends are concealing, vs how much I value knowing the complex feelings/beliefs they wish to express.
I’ve swung back and forth on this over the years, depending on who my friends are and what exactly is going on in my life, but in general I’m happiest when I’m focused on the latter.
Personally one of the reasons I enjoy social drinking is the mutual lowering of barriers. In everyday interaction people are routinely concealing their true feelings and intentions. Consuming alcohol forces them to reveal more of their true feelings and provides a social setting where this is acceptable. I find you trust and understand people better having been drunk with them.
Consequently, someone refusing to drink is implicitly trying to conceal their true feelings to a greater degree, which makes them seem less trustworthy/friendly.
This hasn’t been my experience.
I have found that drunk people aren’t as capable of concealing their true feelings or beliefs as sober people, such that people who are concealing those things to a significant degree are easier to understand when drunk… I agree with that much. But I’ve also found that drunk people aren’t as capable of expressing their feelings or beliefs with any clarity as sober people, such that people whose feelings or beliefs are significantly complex are easier to understand when sober.
I suppose the tradeoff has to do with how much I value knowing the simple feelings/beliefs that my friends are concealing, vs how much I value knowing the complex feelings/beliefs they wish to express.
I’ve swung back and forth on this over the years, depending on who my friends are and what exactly is going on in my life, but in general I’m happiest when I’m focused on the latter.