I have frequently stopped responding to people because I failed to respond immediately, and then forgot that the conversation existed. I have no idea how common this is.
I do the same thing. With the added effect that if I do notice the conversation after a while, I still fail to respond. The reason is that at that point, if I were to reply I would have to start with an apology like “Sorry it took so long to respond, I forgot / I don’t think this conversation is that important / I am a lazy bastard”. I don’t want to do that, so it’s best not to respond at all.
Yes, I know this is a stupid bias. Maybe I should try to fix myself. Any suggestions?
Not a bias, just a desire to avoid projecting low status.
duckduckMOO’s suggestions amount to spinning the situation in a status neutral way. I find that I can spin almost anything I do as status neutral if I think for a little bit.
I’ve done this before, but usually they try again, and I make sure to respond the second time. I have trouble imagining friends braking contact because of one forgotten message.
I have frequently stopped responding to people because I failed to respond immediately, and then forgot that the conversation existed. I have no idea how common this is.
I do the same thing. With the added effect that if I do notice the conversation after a while, I still fail to respond. The reason is that at that point, if I were to reply I would have to start with an apology like “Sorry it took so long to respond, I forgot / I don’t think this conversation is that important / I am a lazy bastard”. I don’t want to do that, so it’s best not to respond at all.
Yes, I know this is a stupid bias. Maybe I should try to fix myself. Any suggestions?
What if you just responded, but without any apology for the delay? That might be easier to write, and it’s probably better than not responding.
Not a bias, just a desire to avoid projecting low status.
duckduckMOO’s suggestions amount to spinning the situation in a status neutral way. I find that I can spin almost anything I do as status neutral if I think for a little bit.
reply starting with, “I just read your message...”? or “zoned out. I see your message now” or something?
I’ve done this before, but usually they try again, and I make sure to respond the second time. I have trouble imagining friends braking contact because of one forgotten message.