For every person who has a bad reason that they catch because you say “sounds like cope”, there are 10x as many people who find their reason actually compelling. Saying “if that was my reason it would be a sign I was in denial of how hard I was coping” or “I don’t think that reason is compelling” isn’t really relevant to the person you’re ostensibly talking to, who’s trying to make the best decisions for the best reasons. Just say you don’t understand why the reason is compelling.
I’m not sure I have experienced a “sounds like cope” reasoning, or at least it doesn’t match to discussions I’ve noted. Is this similar to “people under stress are bad at updating”? Why would you expect them to be better at communicating than they are at reasoning?
Cope isn’t a very useful concept.
For every person who has a bad reason that they catch because you say “sounds like cope”, there are 10x as many people who find their reason actually compelling. Saying “if that was my reason it would be a sign I was in denial of how hard I was coping” or “I don’t think that reason is compelling” isn’t really relevant to the person you’re ostensibly talking to, who’s trying to make the best decisions for the best reasons. Just say you don’t understand why the reason is compelling.
I’m not sure I have experienced a “sounds like cope” reasoning, or at least it doesn’t match to discussions I’ve noted. Is this similar to “people under stress are bad at updating”? Why would you expect them to be better at communicating than they are at reasoning?