This is a good thoughtful response as well! I think the calculus is actually significantly different for men vs women, where the Elon Musk option is unlikely for men, but feels kind of unimaginable for women. Obviously not every single parent relationship in the world is gendered this way, but honestly I’d guess like 98% are, maybe more. And on inside view, you know I’d totally end up the mother figure in any relationship. On the other hand, I’d be fine living in a group house with someone who had a kid—indicating to me that it’s not participating inraising kids that I don’t want, but being responsible for raising kids. (Also the pregnancy thing, as I mentioned. Shudder.)
So yeah, if I were a man in a non-precipice world I think I could easily want kids. But that’s not the situation, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Being in a house with kids also sounds like something that would get me a bunch of things I want. I guess people in close knit communities used to have more availability for this—you could go help out at the nearby school, for example. My Dad lives in a pretty healthy community in The Netherlands, and for many years ran a weekly Chess club for the kids there, which had like 30-40 kids come every week. He works in the Chess industry and would help the strongest kids go to tournaments and more.
I notice there are several alternatives here that sound like things I’d find meaningful that don’t involve having kids myself. I’ll think more on them...
This is a good thoughtful response as well! I think the calculus is actually significantly different for men vs women, where the Elon Musk option is unlikely for men, but feels kind of unimaginable for women. Obviously not every single parent relationship in the world is gendered this way, but honestly I’d guess like 98% are, maybe more. And on inside view, you know I’d totally end up the mother figure in any relationship. On the other hand, I’d be fine living in a group house with someone who had a kid—indicating to me that it’s not participating in raising kids that I don’t want, but being responsible for raising kids. (Also the pregnancy thing, as I mentioned. Shudder.)
So yeah, if I were a man in a non-precipice world I think I could easily want kids. But that’s not the situation, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yeah, agree on the men/women differences.
Being in a house with kids also sounds like something that would get me a bunch of things I want. I guess people in close knit communities used to have more availability for this—you could go help out at the nearby school, for example. My Dad lives in a pretty healthy community in The Netherlands, and for many years ran a weekly Chess club for the kids there, which had like 30-40 kids come every week. He works in the Chess industry and would help the strongest kids go to tournaments and more.
I notice there are several alternatives here that sound like things I’d find meaningful that don’t involve having kids myself. I’ll think more on them...