Beware that if you manage to become bisexual somehow, this can significantly damage a man’s prospects with many women. For a huge percentage of women, bisexual men are not as attractive (manly) as strictly heterosexual men.
Nobody is required to signal their sexual preferences far and wide. That is personal information, to be revealed if and when you deem it appropriate or beneficial. This means that becoming bisexual merely gives you more options, without interfering with your existing options unless you choose to let it change your signalling strategy. That said, humans are notoriously bad at making decisions when burdened with extra choices!
Also, a lot depends on whether the people I am approaching for dates share a social community.
If they do, then if I want to keep control over who becomes aware of my sexual preferences, I need to expend additional effort to prevent that information from traveling through that community… that is, it stops being “private” and starts being “secret.”
This is otherwise known as “being in the closet” in some communities.
This is otherwise known as “being in the closet” in some communities.
Fortunately it is a closet full of beautiful women who you find highly attractive. Such a better closet to be in than the one homosexuals have had to hide themselves in at times. :)
Sure, given a choice between having to keep all of my sexual attractions secret, and only having to keep half of them secret, the latter is far better. Agreed.
Of course, even better is to not have to keep any of them secret, and to instead be able to reveal whatever information about my sexual preferences I choose to reveal without fear of negative consequences.
All of that said: perhaps I’ve lost track of context.
MBlume’s parent comment framed bisexuality as an improvement, and lukeprog warned that there were costs to it. You countered that those costs can be averted by keeping one’s bisexuality secret. But that seems to completely subvert MBlume’s original point… if I’m in the closet about being bisexual, how is that an improvement over being heterosexual?
Sure, given a choice between having to keep all of my sexual attractions secret, and only having to keep half of them secret, the latter is far better.
It seems the choice is, instead, between having your attraction and sexual appreciation mechanism biologically crippled so as to halve the potential partners or to give yourself the option of specialising your signalling as to optimise your chances within a specific target niche or of seeking more diverse experience.
But that seems to completely subvert MBlume’s original point…
Neutral returns as a worst case makes the point a good one. :)
Well, in my own life, the additional option of living in a social context in which honest signaling about gender-selection with respect to attraction and sexual appreciation doesn’t have especially negative consequences became available, and that has worked pretty well for me.
I’ve lived the “specializing my signaling” lifestyle before; I don’t prefer it. The returns of such signal-specialization can be worse than neutral in some cases.
Alas, a process by which I can modify myself to broaden the scope of those to whom I am sexually attracted is not available to me—I can’t give testimony either way. But I can always wish for it.
if I’m in the closet about being bisexual, how is that an improvement over being heterosexual?
You don’t have to be in the closet with everyone. Just treat it as something personal that you only tell people once you know them and trust them enough, and you’ve gauged their reaction to casual mentions of bisexuality.
Agreed that avoiding keeping just most people from knowing about my relationship preferences isn’t as difficult as keeping everyone from knowing about them.
Of course, as above, even better is to be able to reveal whatever information about my relationship preferences I choose to reveal without fear of negative consequences.
Nobody is required to signal their sexual preferences far and wide. That is personal information, to be revealed if and when you deem it appropriate or beneficial. This means that becoming bisexual merely gives you more options, without interfering with your existing options unless you choose to let it change your signalling strategy. That said, humans are notoriously bad at making decisions when burdened with extra choices!
Also, a lot depends on whether the people I am approaching for dates share a social community.
If they do, then if I want to keep control over who becomes aware of my sexual preferences, I need to expend additional effort to prevent that information from traveling through that community… that is, it stops being “private” and starts being “secret.”
This is otherwise known as “being in the closet” in some communities.
Fortunately it is a closet full of beautiful women who you find highly attractive. Such a better closet to be in than the one homosexuals have had to hide themselves in at times. :)
Sure, given a choice between having to keep all of my sexual attractions secret, and only having to keep half of them secret, the latter is far better. Agreed.
Of course, even better is to not have to keep any of them secret, and to instead be able to reveal whatever information about my sexual preferences I choose to reveal without fear of negative consequences.
All of that said: perhaps I’ve lost track of context.
MBlume’s parent comment framed bisexuality as an improvement, and lukeprog warned that there were costs to it. You countered that those costs can be averted by keeping one’s bisexuality secret. But that seems to completely subvert MBlume’s original point… if I’m in the closet about being bisexual, how is that an improvement over being heterosexual?
It seems the choice is, instead, between having your attraction and sexual appreciation mechanism biologically crippled so as to halve the potential partners or to give yourself the option of specialising your signalling as to optimise your chances within a specific target niche or of seeking more diverse experience.
Neutral returns as a worst case makes the point a good one. :)
Well, in my own life, the additional option of living in a social context in which honest signaling about gender-selection with respect to attraction and sexual appreciation doesn’t have especially negative consequences became available, and that has worked pretty well for me.
I’ve lived the “specializing my signaling” lifestyle before; I don’t prefer it. The returns of such signal-specialization can be worse than neutral in some cases.
But if it works for you, that’s great.
Alas, a process by which I can modify myself to broaden the scope of those to whom I am sexually attracted is not available to me—I can’t give testimony either way. But I can always wish for it.
You don’t have to be in the closet with everyone. Just treat it as something personal that you only tell people once you know them and trust them enough, and you’ve gauged their reaction to casual mentions of bisexuality.
Agreed that avoiding keeping just most people from knowing about my relationship preferences isn’t as difficult as keeping everyone from knowing about them.
Of course, as above, even better is to be able to reveal whatever information about my relationship preferences I choose to reveal without fear of negative consequences.