I’ve spent some time in bars, so I think I can handle this one.
1) Observe the bar, some have an area or two “designated” for walkup, others expect you to shoulder your way inbetween people. There is usually an area bounded by two big silver or brass handles. This is so the bartender can get out in a hurry to help the bouncer, and in many bars it’s where the waitresses go to get their orders filled. Do Not Go There, you are getting in the way of working folk, and are making other working folk wait longer for THEIR drinks.
2) If it’s busy know what you want before you go up there. Save your experimentation and questioning for a slow period. When it doubt “Whiskey, Neat”, or “Vodka, neat”. If you’re having a day “Whiskey, double”.
3) If you’d like to run a tab proffer your credit card and ask. Some places don’t do it, some don’t take credit. Also have some cash Just In Case.
4) If you have a preference (for example I don’t drink canadian whiskey straight, and I won’t drink a whiskey and coke if they use pepsi. So I ask “do you have pepsi or coke” [1]) ask BEFORE ordering. If you really don’t care you will (generally) be asked for a preference. The stuff in “the well” is cheaper, and if you’re getting a mixed drink usually only matters for the first, second and third. After that either your bartender is a cheap bastard or you’ve lost the sublties. If you’re drinking it straight, then it matters. Until the 7th or 8th anyway.
5) If you’re paying cash HAND THE MONEY TO THE BAR TENDER, the bar is often damp with spilled drinks, assorted other fluids, bits of food (sometimes) and cigeratte ashes. HAND THE MONEY TO THE BAR TENDER. If you want him to keep the change, just walk away, he knows. If you’re sitting at the bar and you want him to keep the change just sort of push it back towards his side. He knows.
6) Be friendly, say please and thank you. Bartenders have to deal with lots of shitty customers, don’t be one.
[1] Pepsi? In a BAR? What kinda sick fucking joke is THAT?
It’s subtleties like this that make me wish for the “how it works” signs I suggested.
OTOH, there could be some invisible filtering going on: perhaps bars wouldn’t even want the kind of customer that doesn’t have a “sponsor” that can accustom them to the many rules there.
On the third hand, establishments do resort to “how it works” signs when either a) everyone is more ignorant than they would like (e.g. sub shop Quizno’s posting of how to order a sandwich), or b) the downside of not knowing how it works is severe (e.g. emergency rooms, safety warnings). I just think cases like a) and b) are more common than the prevalence of “how it works” signs would indicate.
I agree—I think people generally have a hard time imagining that what’s easy for them is hard for other people.
“Some people have a way with words, and other people, um.… thingy.” was a revelation for me—it had literally never occurred to me what it might be like to not have words come easily.
I’ve spent some time in bars, so I think I can handle this one.
1) Observe the bar, some have an area or two “designated” for walkup, others expect you to shoulder your way inbetween people. There is usually an area bounded by two big silver or brass handles. This is so the bartender can get out in a hurry to help the bouncer, and in many bars it’s where the waitresses go to get their orders filled. Do Not Go There, you are getting in the way of working folk, and are making other working folk wait longer for THEIR drinks.
2) If it’s busy know what you want before you go up there. Save your experimentation and questioning for a slow period. When it doubt “Whiskey, Neat”, or “Vodka, neat”. If you’re having a day “Whiskey, double”.
3) If you’d like to run a tab proffer your credit card and ask. Some places don’t do it, some don’t take credit. Also have some cash Just In Case.
4) If you have a preference (for example I don’t drink canadian whiskey straight, and I won’t drink a whiskey and coke if they use pepsi. So I ask “do you have pepsi or coke” [1]) ask BEFORE ordering. If you really don’t care you will (generally) be asked for a preference. The stuff in “the well” is cheaper, and if you’re getting a mixed drink usually only matters for the first, second and third. After that either your bartender is a cheap bastard or you’ve lost the sublties. If you’re drinking it straight, then it matters. Until the 7th or 8th anyway.
5) If you’re paying cash HAND THE MONEY TO THE BAR TENDER, the bar is often damp with spilled drinks, assorted other fluids, bits of food (sometimes) and cigeratte ashes. HAND THE MONEY TO THE BAR TENDER. If you want him to keep the change, just walk away, he knows. If you’re sitting at the bar and you want him to keep the change just sort of push it back towards his side. He knows.
6) Be friendly, say please and thank you. Bartenders have to deal with lots of shitty customers, don’t be one.
[1] Pepsi? In a BAR? What kinda sick fucking joke is THAT?
It’s subtleties like this that make me wish for the “how it works” signs I suggested.
OTOH, there could be some invisible filtering going on: perhaps bars wouldn’t even want the kind of customer that doesn’t have a “sponsor” that can accustom them to the many rules there.
On the third hand, establishments do resort to “how it works” signs when either a) everyone is more ignorant than they would like (e.g. sub shop Quizno’s posting of how to order a sandwich), or b) the downside of not knowing how it works is severe (e.g. emergency rooms, safety warnings). I just think cases like a) and b) are more common than the prevalence of “how it works” signs would indicate.
I agree—I think people generally have a hard time imagining that what’s easy for them is hard for other people.
“Some people have a way with words, and other people, um.… thingy.” was a revelation for me—it had literally never occurred to me what it might be like to not have words come easily.