If someone takes my point as an excuse not to meet people, that person is wrong. Because that is not what it says at all. And also, meeting girls and meeting new people are not quite the same. Though the point does apply to the latter.
Perhaps you are saying people already adjust their expectations in light of their successes and failures, in which case my pointing out that sociometer point does more harm than good.
Sorry, I was speaking more generally of “dating as numbers game”, not disagreeing with you. I find many people who worry about the idea of a “numbers game” see that as a problem rather than an opportunity.
I must note that I am almost pathologically gregarious and outgoing myself, and have an unfortunate habit of offering unhelpful advice on such to those who aren’t—and if I seem to you to have done that, I most sincerely apologise.
Ah ok. I was puzzled I guess as that didn’t seem otherwise very relevant. Yes, thinking of meeting many girls as a special case of meeting many people does make it seem less daunting to me!
Yes, thinking of meeting many girls as a special case of meeting many people does make it seem less daunting to me!
I do believe you’ve hit upon an important perspective trick. It’s meeting people. This also allows you to do the “don’t think about it” Zen mind trick.
I’m approximately 97% sure that at least one of the next five people I’ll meet will be a woman.
97% seems high. Same sex groups are relatively common. Even if the expected number of women out of the next five people is 2.5 there is probably more than 3% chance of the next five being male.
But then again, more of the people I meet are female than male; I guess those two effects roughly cancel out. Trying to remember when the last few times I met five males in a row were seems to confirm that the number is roughly in the right ballpark. (OTOH, the probability that none of the next five people I met is a man probably is a few times larger than the naive binomial model would predict.)
If someone takes my point as an excuse not to meet people, that person is wrong. Because that is not what it says at all. And also, meeting girls and meeting new people are not quite the same. Though the point does apply to the latter.
Perhaps you are saying people already adjust their expectations in light of their successes and failures, in which case my pointing out that sociometer point does more harm than good.
Sorry, I was speaking more generally of “dating as numbers game”, not disagreeing with you. I find many people who worry about the idea of a “numbers game” see that as a problem rather than an opportunity.
I must note that I am almost pathologically gregarious and outgoing myself, and have an unfortunate habit of offering unhelpful advice on such to those who aren’t—and if I seem to you to have done that, I most sincerely apologise.
Ah ok. I was puzzled I guess as that didn’t seem otherwise very relevant. Yes, thinking of meeting many girls as a special case of meeting many people does make it seem less daunting to me!
I do believe you’ve hit upon an important perspective trick. It’s meeting people. This also allows you to do the “don’t think about it” Zen mind trick.
I’m approximately 97% sure that at least one of the next five people I’ll meet will be a woman.
I’m also approximately 100% sure that at least five of the next five women I’ll meet will be people. :-)
97% seems high. Same sex groups are relatively common. Even if the expected number of women out of the next five people is 2.5 there is probably more than 3% chance of the next five being male.
But then again, more of the people I meet are female than male; I guess those two effects roughly cancel out. Trying to remember when the last few times I met five males in a row were seems to confirm that the number is roughly in the right ballpark. (OTOH, the probability that none of the next five people I met is a man probably is a few times larger than the naive binomial model would predict.)