Also, for men with a handsome face and a nicely shaped head, spending resources on an elaborate haircut is a complete waste—a simple very short cut or even a buzz-cut will look as good as anything else.
If you are doing a normal guy look, sure. But if you want to do something crazier or more subcultural, then ditch the barber.
One of the simplest ways a guy can increase the amount of sexual attention he gets is to get a cool haircut (i.e. not a normal guy barber haircut).
Very expensive, elaborate, and high-maintenance cuts are likely a waste in any case.
There are costs, but in some cultures there are big benefits. Hair is an important signaling device. The signal can be costly… and that’s part of the point. It’s really hard to go wrong having awesome hair. Maintenance is a pain, but if you know what you’re doing, it’s not so bad.
Actually, I disagree, unless you take this in a tautological sense. There are several important points here.
First, a “crazier and more subcultural” look is essentially a form of peacocking. Like all peacocking, it can be extremely effective, but it’s difficult to pull off competently and tends to backfire badly if done in a less than stellar way. So I definitely wouldn’t recommend it to a typical guy, who almost certainly has much more advisable options than attempting peacocking.
Even attempting a more conventional elaborate hairstyle can backfire. You know when a man tries dressing sharply but instead of looking sharp ends up projecting that bad “I’m trying too hard” look? (I don’t have in mind being badly dressed by any clear standard, but rather giving off that vague impression that it’s not his natural image, and it just doesn’t fit him in some hard-to-describe way.) My impression is that it’s even easier to fail in a similar way by attempting a sophisticated haircut.
That said, as I already pointed out, if you don’t have a nicely shaped skull and a handsome face, a competently chosen and executed haircut can significantly improve your looks, while a really bad hairstyle can make any man look like a dork. Otherwise, however, I have the impression that men’s efforts put in hairstyle rapidly hit diminishing returns, except perhaps in a peacocking context. Certainly it seems to me that countless other aspects of looks and behavior are far more important outside of these basic limits.
What apparent evidence I’ve seen to the contrary can all be explained by confounding factors, i.e. it’s about men who have self-improved in other more important ways along with changing their hairstyle. (Of course, like any other change, it can be effective via “inner game,” i.e. if it makes you genuinely feel better about yourself, it will likely change your outside behavior for the better, regardless of any immediate effect on your looks.)
First, a “crazier and more subcultural” look is essentially a form of peacocking. Like all peacocking, it can be extremely effective, but it’s difficult to pull off competently and tends to backfire badly if done in a less than stellar way.
I am indeed talking about peacocking. I agree with you about the risks of peacocking, and perhaps I didn’t acknowledge them clearly enough.
So I definitely wouldn’t recommend it to a typical guy, who almost certainly has much more advisable options than attempting peacocking.
Actually, I think peacocking of some sort is one of the options I would most advise to a typical guy attempting to improve social and romantic success. It can quickly help him get more attention and new sorts of reactions (e.g. compliments that increase his confidence).
Even attempting a more conventional elaborate hairstyle can backfire. You know when a man tries dressing sharply but instead of looking sharp ends up projecting that bad “I’m trying too hard” look? (I don’t have in mind being badly dressed by any clear standard, but rather giving off that vague impression that it’s not his natural image, and it just doesn’t fit him in some hard-to-describe way.) My impression is that it’s even easier to fail in a similar way by attempting a sophisticated haircut.
I know that sort of look, and I’ve certainly been guilty of it myself. Yet my view is that trying and failing can often look better than not trying, especially for a guy who is below average to start with. My hypothesis is that a lot guys with average or below average style could drop on a crazy hairstyle and get better reactions, even if they looked like they were trying too hard, and their hair made no sense with the rest of their clothing. Guys who are already at least above average in style, or guys in older or more conservative/conformist cultures might not benefit so much.
Good peacocking is powerful. But even messy trial-and-error while learning peacocking may actually be better than what many guys are already doing.
Otherwise, however, I have the impression that men’s efforts put in hairstyle rapidly hit diminishing returns,
Effort on hairstyle hits diminishing returns once you separate yourself from the pack of average guys you are competing with. How much effort that takes depends on (sub)culture.
except perhaps in a peacocking context.
What other sort of context is there?
Certainly it seems to me that countless other aspects of looks and behavior are far more important outside of these basic limits.
There are many aspects of looks and behavior that are more important than peacocking, but in my experience, peacocking has a pretty good cost-benefit ratio.
Peacocking synergizes with other form of social self-improvement, even when done badly. Even though peacocking has a learning curve, it may actually be easier than certain other social self-improvement skills for certain types of guys.
Compare fashion to other skills that a guy might be learning. For shy, introverted males, they have a lot of things to focus on in the “field,” such as posture, body language, voice, content of speech, etc… which can easily be overwhelming. Everything has a learning curve. The advantage of fashion (including hair) is that you can cache it before stepping into the field, which is a massive boon: fire and forget. Furthermore, in contrast to conversation, fashion is broadband and travels at the speed of light.
Psychologically, what traits are fashion skills loaded on?
pattern recognition
spatial skills and artistic ability
creativity
technical knowledge of tools and procedures
Fashion is the medium by which these abilities can be converted into social status. Psychologically, fashion is actually right up the alley of creative and visual introverted systemizers. Culturally, fashion isn’t seen that way because it’s associated with women and gay men.
First, a “crazier and more subcultural” look is essentially a form of peacocking
(Not to disagree with your general advice, but I am compelled to mention in passing that) not everyone is playing the same game. I keep my hair long in order to avoid the normal guy look; it’s a personal style and self-expression thing, not the kind of sexual ploy that can backfire.
If you are doing a normal guy look, sure. But if you want to do something crazier or more subcultural, then ditch the barber.
One of the simplest ways a guy can increase the amount of sexual attention he gets is to get a cool haircut (i.e. not a normal guy barber haircut).
There are costs, but in some cultures there are big benefits. Hair is an important signaling device. The signal can be costly… and that’s part of the point. It’s really hard to go wrong having awesome hair. Maintenance is a pain, but if you know what you’re doing, it’s not so bad.
HughRistik:
Actually, I disagree, unless you take this in a tautological sense. There are several important points here.
First, a “crazier and more subcultural” look is essentially a form of peacocking. Like all peacocking, it can be extremely effective, but it’s difficult to pull off competently and tends to backfire badly if done in a less than stellar way. So I definitely wouldn’t recommend it to a typical guy, who almost certainly has much more advisable options than attempting peacocking.
Even attempting a more conventional elaborate hairstyle can backfire. You know when a man tries dressing sharply but instead of looking sharp ends up projecting that bad “I’m trying too hard” look? (I don’t have in mind being badly dressed by any clear standard, but rather giving off that vague impression that it’s not his natural image, and it just doesn’t fit him in some hard-to-describe way.) My impression is that it’s even easier to fail in a similar way by attempting a sophisticated haircut.
That said, as I already pointed out, if you don’t have a nicely shaped skull and a handsome face, a competently chosen and executed haircut can significantly improve your looks, while a really bad hairstyle can make any man look like a dork. Otherwise, however, I have the impression that men’s efforts put in hairstyle rapidly hit diminishing returns, except perhaps in a peacocking context. Certainly it seems to me that countless other aspects of looks and behavior are far more important outside of these basic limits.
What apparent evidence I’ve seen to the contrary can all be explained by confounding factors, i.e. it’s about men who have self-improved in other more important ways along with changing their hairstyle. (Of course, like any other change, it can be effective via “inner game,” i.e. if it makes you genuinely feel better about yourself, it will likely change your outside behavior for the better, regardless of any immediate effect on your looks.)
I am indeed talking about peacocking. I agree with you about the risks of peacocking, and perhaps I didn’t acknowledge them clearly enough.
Actually, I think peacocking of some sort is one of the options I would most advise to a typical guy attempting to improve social and romantic success. It can quickly help him get more attention and new sorts of reactions (e.g. compliments that increase his confidence).
I know that sort of look, and I’ve certainly been guilty of it myself. Yet my view is that trying and failing can often look better than not trying, especially for a guy who is below average to start with. My hypothesis is that a lot guys with average or below average style could drop on a crazy hairstyle and get better reactions, even if they looked like they were trying too hard, and their hair made no sense with the rest of their clothing. Guys who are already at least above average in style, or guys in older or more conservative/conformist cultures might not benefit so much.
Good peacocking is powerful. But even messy trial-and-error while learning peacocking may actually be better than what many guys are already doing.
Effort on hairstyle hits diminishing returns once you separate yourself from the pack of average guys you are competing with. How much effort that takes depends on (sub)culture.
What other sort of context is there?
There are many aspects of looks and behavior that are more important than peacocking, but in my experience, peacocking has a pretty good cost-benefit ratio.
Peacocking synergizes with other form of social self-improvement, even when done badly. Even though peacocking has a learning curve, it may actually be easier than certain other social self-improvement skills for certain types of guys.
Compare fashion to other skills that a guy might be learning. For shy, introverted males, they have a lot of things to focus on in the “field,” such as posture, body language, voice, content of speech, etc… which can easily be overwhelming. Everything has a learning curve. The advantage of fashion (including hair) is that you can cache it before stepping into the field, which is a massive boon: fire and forget. Furthermore, in contrast to conversation, fashion is broadband and travels at the speed of light.
Psychologically, what traits are fashion skills loaded on?
pattern recognition
spatial skills and artistic ability
creativity
technical knowledge of tools and procedures
Fashion is the medium by which these abilities can be converted into social status. Psychologically, fashion is actually right up the alley of creative and visual introverted systemizers. Culturally, fashion isn’t seen that way because it’s associated with women and gay men.
(Not to disagree with your general advice, but I am compelled to mention in passing that) not everyone is playing the same game. I keep my hair long in order to avoid the normal guy look; it’s a personal style and self-expression thing, not the kind of sexual ploy that can backfire.