Thanks. This reminds me of something I’ve found which works well in the short run. I admit I haven’t checked for long term consequences.
It makes me crazy when people repeat themselves in short succession. If you listen, it’s possible to discover that Waiting for Godot is more realistic than a lot of more interesting theater.
Hypothesis: People repeat themselves if they aren’t sure they’re being heard, or, oddly (and I’ve done this myself) if they’re unsure of how what they’re saying will be received.
Solution: Smile at the person and repeat back what they said. Your body language is “I was so interested I remembered what you were saying” not “I heard it already and I’m bored”.
Observation: People stop repeating that particular thing. Yay!
However, they tend to seem a bit taken aback, though not hostile. I don’t know to what extent they feel comforted and heard and possibly surprised because they weren’t expecting that, and to what extent they’ve been embarrassed that their amount of repetition has been noted.
Hypothesis: People repeat themselves if they aren’t sure they’re being heard, or, oddly (and I’ve done this myself) if they’re unsure of how what they’re saying will be received.
I have worked hard to stop doing this. As a teen I’d often repeat something when it wouldn’t provoke a response. This is silly. I now realize that 9 out of 10 times the other person heard you perfectly well, so repeating what one said is counterproductive.
Also I’ve figured out that I should be louder. Everyone knows that one person who nobody likes because ze is too loud, but being too quiet is low status.
Observation: People stop repeating that particular thing. Yay!
Awesome I’ve tried this and it totally works. Thank you!
I hated it when it was done to me in my youth, and I still hate it when it’s done to me now. In fact, most repetitious and nagging patterns of speech make me shut up like a clam. I’m hardly as loquacious in person as I can be through text.
Except… I teach piano and guitar to children. And, in my teaching of habits of practice, I tend to repeat myself maybe a bit too much. I’m really trying to improve.
And also… hehe… I noticed myself introducing rationality techniques. ^_^; How to analyze and target your confusion and lack of understanding whilst reading new music that contain hitherto unseen musical notations or phrases. That’s how I’m used to learning.
Thanks. This reminds me of something I’ve found which works well in the short run. I admit I haven’t checked for long term consequences.
It makes me crazy when people repeat themselves in short succession. If you listen, it’s possible to discover that Waiting for Godot is more realistic than a lot of more interesting theater.
Hypothesis: People repeat themselves if they aren’t sure they’re being heard, or, oddly (and I’ve done this myself) if they’re unsure of how what they’re saying will be received.
Solution: Smile at the person and repeat back what they said. Your body language is “I was so interested I remembered what you were saying” not “I heard it already and I’m bored”.
Observation: People stop repeating that particular thing. Yay!
However, they tend to seem a bit taken aback, though not hostile. I don’t know to what extent they feel comforted and heard and possibly surprised because they weren’t expecting that, and to what extent they’ve been embarrassed that their amount of repetition has been noted.
I have worked hard to stop doing this. As a teen I’d often repeat something when it wouldn’t provoke a response. This is silly. I now realize that 9 out of 10 times the other person heard you perfectly well, so repeating what one said is counterproductive.
Also I’ve figured out that I should be louder. Everyone knows that one person who nobody likes because ze is too loud, but being too quiet is low status.
Awesome I’ve tried this and it totally works. Thank you!
My word, I do it too, and I never realized!
I hated it when it was done to me in my youth, and I still hate it when it’s done to me now. In fact, most repetitious and nagging patterns of speech make me shut up like a clam. I’m hardly as loquacious in person as I can be through text.
Except… I teach piano and guitar to children. And, in my teaching of habits of practice, I tend to repeat myself maybe a bit too much. I’m really trying to improve.
And also… hehe… I noticed myself introducing rationality techniques. ^_^; How to analyze and target your confusion and lack of understanding whilst reading new music that contain hitherto unseen musical notations or phrases. That’s how I’m used to learning.