Yes, but I also have a different suspicion here—you may have already at 4 strongly pushed your son towards intellectual pursuits if he already thought reading is far more important than looking at cute or pretty things. Or people. Even being able to read before school is fairly rare, but already liking it so much more than say drawing, that is really rare.
Our life was nice enough, but I suspect it is more about e.g. American culture being in general optimistic no matter how bad is your life, Eastern Europe more pessimistic no matter how nice is your life.I suspect these come from centuries long historical habits, not about how nice your personal life is.
Quite frankly, I would like to learn to be more optimistic. But it is interesting that one part of me considers that “shallow”. That must be a weird sort of rationalization.
That’s an interesting thought; I feel just the opposite about the pessimism/optimism spectrum. To me, it seems that to allow the negative to affect your mindset overmuch is a far greater negative than a positive. That’s not to say, though, that I think pessimism doesn’t have its place, or that optimism is always a good thing; just that as a mindset, it’s of greater personal benefit to be an optimist. Interestingly enough, more of my beliefs came from Japan (in the form of video games; the Mother series, and The World Ends With You in particular) than from the US.
I’ve always felt that to allow oneself to fall to pessimism is the easier path (optimism is a constant struggle for me, though I put on a mien as if it were otherwise), and largely more painful. I used to be quite a bit more pessimistic, but found that, while it’s a lot of effort, to push myself toward optimism leads to a higher happiness default point for me. Can you explain your view?
That’s an interesting thought; I feel just the opposite about the pessimism/optimism spectrum. To me, it seems that to allow the negative to affect your mindset overmuch is a far greater negative than a positive
Of course, that is why I try to overcome but it still “feels deeper”.
Negativity simply tends to “feel deep”. And “feel wise”. I am an adult, but you see really a lot of it amongst teenagers, goths etc. basically the more angst and cynicism they have “deeper” and “wiser” they feel.
Or for example look at media like Game of Thrones, it is generally the most negative quotes that “feel deep”. “Sharp steel and strong arms rule this world, don’t ever believe any different.” “You’re awful.” “It is the world that is awful.” This sort of stuff tends to “feel deep” far more than something cheery.
Adults have different reasons for being negative (such as habit), but there is still a certain sense of “feeling deep” lurking which impends developing positivity.
Of course pessimism is far easier! But it still “feels deeper”. Most people including me are lazy. If something is easy and has some sort of a reward at all (you feel bad, but at least you feel “deep”), we are likely to do it. Why else you think fast-food driven obesity is such a big deal thes days? :-)
Similarly, a very basic human feature is the sour grapes effect. Optimism is hard, so let’s find an excuse to not do it. Well, the excuse is that it is “shallow”.
I wonder how it is not so for you… perhaps you are of the minority who is not inherently lazy, who does not automatically go for the smallest resistance, the easiest path and then make excuses. But I am.
Quite frankly, I would like to learn to be more optimistic.
I don’t know if this will work for you, but the possibility of a positive singularity combined with the many-worlds hypothesis makes me optimistic. In most worlds I’m dead after around 50 years, but in a significant percentage I get to live in utopia until the end of the universe, giving me an astronomically high expected utility.
Yes, but I also have a different suspicion here—you may have already at 4 strongly pushed your son towards intellectual pursuits if he already thought reading is far more important than looking at cute or pretty things. Or people. Even being able to read before school is fairly rare, but already liking it so much more than say drawing, that is really rare.
Our life was nice enough, but I suspect it is more about e.g. American culture being in general optimistic no matter how bad is your life, Eastern Europe more pessimistic no matter how nice is your life.I suspect these come from centuries long historical habits, not about how nice your personal life is.
Quite frankly, I would like to learn to be more optimistic. But it is interesting that one part of me considers that “shallow”. That must be a weird sort of rationalization.
That’s an interesting thought; I feel just the opposite about the pessimism/optimism spectrum. To me, it seems that to allow the negative to affect your mindset overmuch is a far greater negative than a positive. That’s not to say, though, that I think pessimism doesn’t have its place, or that optimism is always a good thing; just that as a mindset, it’s of greater personal benefit to be an optimist. Interestingly enough, more of my beliefs came from Japan (in the form of video games; the Mother series, and The World Ends With You in particular) than from the US.
I’ve always felt that to allow oneself to fall to pessimism is the easier path (optimism is a constant struggle for me, though I put on a mien as if it were otherwise), and largely more painful. I used to be quite a bit more pessimistic, but found that, while it’s a lot of effort, to push myself toward optimism leads to a higher happiness default point for me. Can you explain your view?
Of course, that is why I try to overcome but it still “feels deeper”.
Negativity simply tends to “feel deep”. And “feel wise”. I am an adult, but you see really a lot of it amongst teenagers, goths etc. basically the more angst and cynicism they have “deeper” and “wiser” they feel.
Or for example look at media like Game of Thrones, it is generally the most negative quotes that “feel deep”. “Sharp steel and strong arms rule this world, don’t ever believe any different.” “You’re awful.” “It is the world that is awful.” This sort of stuff tends to “feel deep” far more than something cheery.
Adults have different reasons for being negative (such as habit), but there is still a certain sense of “feeling deep” lurking which impends developing positivity.
Of course pessimism is far easier! But it still “feels deeper”. Most people including me are lazy. If something is easy and has some sort of a reward at all (you feel bad, but at least you feel “deep”), we are likely to do it. Why else you think fast-food driven obesity is such a big deal thes days? :-)
Similarly, a very basic human feature is the sour grapes effect. Optimism is hard, so let’s find an excuse to not do it. Well, the excuse is that it is “shallow”.
I wonder how it is not so for you… perhaps you are of the minority who is not inherently lazy, who does not automatically go for the smallest resistance, the easiest path and then make excuses. But I am.
I don’t know if this will work for you, but the possibility of a positive singularity combined with the many-worlds hypothesis makes me optimistic. In most worlds I’m dead after around 50 years, but in a significant percentage I get to live in utopia until the end of the universe, giving me an astronomically high expected utility.