Many polyfolk deal with this sort of thing, much as people in monogamous relationships deal with their partners becoming absorbed by a new interest, being assigned to six-month deployments overseas, driving trucks for weeks at a time across the country, having crushing deadlines at work, or otherwise having things come up in their lives that force their partnership to take second priority for a while.
The common thread in my experience is an acceptance that they are not the absolute top priority in their partner’s life (partners’ lives) 100% of the time, and that’s OK, and the relationship is still positive and valuable.
So, yes, that is something that some poly folk can deal with in a polyamorous context.
Whether it’s something you can self-modify out of (second person used advisedly), I don’t know.
That’s certainly true. But, again, IME being OK with not being the absolute top priority in one’s partner’s life 100% of the time helps one deal with all four of those not-quite-identical things.
I should also note that your first description made it sound like a temporary thing, whereas your second description makes it sound more like a change of the baseline; is that intentional, or am I just over-reading?
Many polyfolk deal with this sort of thing, much as people in monogamous relationships deal with their partners becoming absorbed by a new interest, being assigned to six-month deployments overseas, driving trucks for weeks at a time across the country, having crushing deadlines at work, or otherwise having things come up in their lives that force their partnership to take second priority for a while.
The common thread in my experience is an acceptance that they are not the absolute top priority in their partner’s life (partners’ lives) 100% of the time, and that’s OK, and the relationship is still positive and valuable.
So, yes, that is something that some poly folk can deal with in a polyamorous context.
Whether it’s something you can self-modify out of (second person used advisedly), I don’t know.
Being absorbed by a new interest or being busy or away aren’t quite the same thing as not being into your partner anymore.
That’s certainly true. But, again, IME being OK with not being the absolute top priority in one’s partner’s life 100% of the time helps one deal with all four of those not-quite-identical things.
I should also note that your first description made it sound like a temporary thing, whereas your second description makes it sound more like a change of the baseline; is that intentional, or am I just over-reading?
Temporary but lasting several months, I’m told.