When our kids got 2.5 to 3 years old, we explored the ‘island’ or land surrounded by streets around our house with them until they could find back on their own when taken somewhere blindfolded. But we didn’t yet let them play alone or out of sight except in the backyard. It was more a game and safety measure.
They were allowed to play alone and roam on the ‘island’ when they became about 4.5 years old. We practiced this by giving them an arm clock and asking them to come home after increasingly longer times. This was also around the time they were allowed to cross the street to go to my sister’s place.
At 5 years, they were allowed to ride the bike on the island.
At 5.5 to 6 years, they were allowed to roam the whole neighborhood of 260 houses—after completing a ‘roaming exam’. Among other things, they had to memorize our phone number.
At entry to school, the way to school was practiced in a step-by-step plan. About a kilometer with one notable street crossing at a traffic light. There would have been a 20% shorter route along a major road and along a shopping center that we opted against.
At 7.5 years the range was extended to include a garden society close by up to a bridge at a small creek where they were then allowed to play (water depth 30 centimeters max).
At 8 to 8.5 years they were allowed to go to the shopping center alone—again with an exam. Typically at this time, they would also have completed their pocket money exam.
At 9.5 years the roaming range was extended to include parts of the local recreational area including a big playground and a small lake. We made sure that they got their swimming badge much before this.
In 4th grade, the school did a public transportation challenge where groups of four to six kids would use the public transportation to solve some quizzes by going places. We supported this and did some extra training and the kids were allowed to use public transportation in general (with some exceptions, specifically central station). We let them visit relatives by train before that—but they were picked up at the train station in such cases.
Riding to school with a bike is allowed by the school only in 4th grade after bicycle training (offered by a specially trained local police officer—“Schulpolizist” in German). Our kids were allowed to bike much earlier (see above) but from this point on they were allowed to use the street.
There were more steps after that but I don’t have the data at hand right now. But it goes on. My oldest is now 17 and not long ago had a project with his mother where they explored all the major locations in our district (mostly by foot). He is also allowed to stay out at night to meet with friends. This is no longer such much an allowance but more a mutual agreement. The principle that we arrived at is, that he shares his location so I know where to send the rescue team as we joke.
Context: We are living in the outskirts of Hamburg, Germany in a lower density neighborhood of 260 small 1960s row houses with no passing thru traffic. Pedestrian and bicycle traffic, as well as public transportation, is very common in Germany. There are safe ways to go almost all places; with lots of traffic lights zebra crossings, and such. It is still very uncommon that we let kids roam as much as we did. In our kids’ first grade there were usually no other kids allowed to go to or from school on their own. We were aware of this of course but convinced that the long-term maturity would outweigh the risks—and this seems to have bourn out. I think a key part to success is not just allowing or forbidding things but having a step-by-step plan that takes into account the development stage of the kid.
Some more anecdata:
When our kids got 2.5 to 3 years old, we explored the ‘island’ or land surrounded by streets around our house with them until they could find back on their own when taken somewhere blindfolded. But we didn’t yet let them play alone or out of sight except in the backyard. It was more a game and safety measure.
They were allowed to play alone and roam on the ‘island’ when they became about 4.5 years old. We practiced this by giving them an arm clock and asking them to come home after increasingly longer times. This was also around the time they were allowed to cross the street to go to my sister’s place.
At 5 years, they were allowed to ride the bike on the island.
At 5.5 to 6 years, they were allowed to roam the whole neighborhood of 260 houses—after completing a ‘roaming exam’. Among other things, they had to memorize our phone number.
At entry to school, the way to school was practiced in a step-by-step plan. About a kilometer with one notable street crossing at a traffic light. There would have been a 20% shorter route along a major road and along a shopping center that we opted against.
At 7.5 years the range was extended to include a garden society close by up to a bridge at a small creek where they were then allowed to play (water depth 30 centimeters max).
At 8 to 8.5 years they were allowed to go to the shopping center alone—again with an exam. Typically at this time, they would also have completed their pocket money exam.
At 9.5 years the roaming range was extended to include parts of the local recreational area including a big playground and a small lake. We made sure that they got their swimming badge much before this.
In 4th grade, the school did a public transportation challenge where groups of four to six kids would use the public transportation to solve some quizzes by going places. We supported this and did some extra training and the kids were allowed to use public transportation in general (with some exceptions, specifically central station). We let them visit relatives by train before that—but they were picked up at the train station in such cases.
Riding to school with a bike is allowed by the school only in 4th grade after bicycle training (offered by a specially trained local police officer—“Schulpolizist” in German). Our kids were allowed to bike much earlier (see above) but from this point on they were allowed to use the street.
There were more steps after that but I don’t have the data at hand right now. But it goes on. My oldest is now 17 and not long ago had a project with his mother where they explored all the major locations in our district (mostly by foot). He is also allowed to stay out at night to meet with friends. This is no longer such much an allowance but more a mutual agreement. The principle that we arrived at is, that he shares his location so I know where to send the rescue team as we joke.
Context: We are living in the outskirts of Hamburg, Germany in a lower density neighborhood of 260 small 1960s row houses with no passing thru traffic. Pedestrian and bicycle traffic, as well as public transportation, is very common in Germany. There are safe ways to go almost all places; with lots of traffic lights zebra crossings, and such. It is still very uncommon that we let kids roam as much as we did. In our kids’ first grade there were usually no other kids allowed to go to or from school on their own. We were aware of this of course but convinced that the long-term maturity would outweigh the risks—and this seems to have bourn out. I think a key part to success is not just allowing or forbidding things but having a step-by-step plan that takes into account the development stage of the kid.