I guess one thing I want to clarify is that I do feel “sexually attracted” to people, just not in a way that makes me want to have PIV sex with them. I don’t know how to carefully define “sexually attracted” here, but like: I think they’re hot, I get a boner looking at them, I might think about them when masturbating.
Also, the fantasies I have when masturbating do not involve PIV sex, and I also don’t feel a strong urge to act out my fantasies with other people. My ex and I did a bit of this, and it did feel good, but I’m mostly reasonably content to keep my fantasies private and just masturbate.
So, I’m hearing that you like looking at others but touching by yourself. Sounds ace to me. ;) I think mad has the right of it: seems likely you’d find benefit by exploring the asexual scene and see just how much variation is to be had in what many think of as a tiny slice of sexuality. Even if you eventually decide that label just isn’t for you, you’ll likely learn a lot and get a better idea how to continue your journey of self discovery (excuse the cliche, but it applies).
I guess one thing I want to clarify is that I do feel “sexually attracted” to people, just not in a way that makes me want to have PIV sex with them. I don’t know how to carefully define “sexually attracted” here, but like: I think they’re hot, I get a boner looking at them, I might think about them when masturbating.
Also, the fantasies I have when masturbating do not involve PIV sex, and I also don’t feel a strong urge to act out my fantasies with other people. My ex and I did a bit of this, and it did feel good, but I’m mostly reasonably content to keep my fantasies private and just masturbate.
So, I’m hearing that you like looking at others but touching by yourself. Sounds ace to me. ;) I think mad has the right of it: seems likely you’d find benefit by exploring the asexual scene and see just how much variation is to be had in what many think of as a tiny slice of sexuality. Even if you eventually decide that label just isn’t for you, you’ll likely learn a lot and get a better idea how to continue your journey of self discovery (excuse the cliche, but it applies).