Dunno about that. On one hand, being curious seems nice on the margin. But, the whole deal here is when I have some kinda of agenda I’m trying to accomplish. I do care about accomplishing the agenda in a friendly way. I don’t obviously care about doing it in a curious way – the reason I generated the “I’m curious” phrase is because it was an easy hack for sounding less threatening, not because curiosity was important. I think optimizing for curiosity here is more likely to fuck up my curiosity than to help with anything.
I went through something similar with phrases like “I’m curious if you’d be willing to help me move.” While I really meant “I hope that you’ll help me move.”
My personal experience was that shifting this hope/expectation toba real sense of curiosity “Hmm, Does this person want to help me move?” Made it more pleasant for both of us. I became genuinely curious about their answer, and there was less pressure both internally and externally.
Have you tried becoming curious each time you feel the urge to say it? Seems strictly better than not being curious.
Dunno about that. On one hand, being curious seems nice on the margin. But, the whole deal here is when I have some kinda of agenda I’m trying to accomplish. I do care about accomplishing the agenda in a friendly way. I don’t obviously care about doing it in a curious way – the reason I generated the “I’m curious” phrase is because it was an easy hack for sounding less threatening, not because curiosity was important. I think optimizing for curiosity here is more likely to fuck up my curiosity than to help with anything.
I went through something similar with phrases like “I’m curious if you’d be willing to help me move.” While I really meant “I hope that you’ll help me move.”
My personal experience was that shifting this hope/expectation toba real sense of curiosity “Hmm, Does this person want to help me move?” Made it more pleasant for both of us. I became genuinely curious about their answer, and there was less pressure both internally and externally.