It may take multiple years to find a group house where everyone gets along with everyone. I think it makes sense, earlier on, to focus on exploring (i.e. if you’ve just moved to the Bay, don’t worry about getting a group house culture that is a perfect fit), but within 3 years I think it’s achievable for most people to have found a group house that is good for friendship.
A thing that I have seen work well here is small houses nucleating out of large houses. If you’re living in a place with >20 people for 6 months, probably you’ll make a small group of friends that want similar things, and then you can found a smaller place with less risk. But of course this requires there being big houses that people can move into and out of, and that don’t become the lower-common-denominator house that people can’t form friendships in because they want to avoid the common spaces.
But of course the larger the house, the harder it is to get off the ground, and a place with deliberately high churn represents even more of a risk.
A thing that I have seen work well here is small houses nucleating out of large houses. If you’re living in a place with >20 people for 6 months, probably you’ll make a small group of friends that want similar things, and then you can found a smaller place with less risk. But of course this requires there being big houses that people can move into and out of, and that don’t become the lower-common-denominator house that people can’t form friendships in because they want to avoid the common spaces.
But of course the larger the house, the harder it is to get off the ground, and a place with deliberately high churn represents even more of a risk.