People who feel defensive have a harder time thinking in truthseeking mode rather than “keep myself safe” mode. But, it also seems plausibly-true that if you naively reinforce feelings of defensiveness they get stronger. i.e. if you make saying “I’m feeling defensive” a get out of jail free card, people will use it, intentionally or no.
As someone who’s been a large proponent of the “consider feelings of safety” POV, I want to loudly acknowledge that this is a thing, and it is damaging to all parties.
I don’t have a good solution to this. One possibility is insisting on things that facilitate safety even if everyone is saying they’re fine.
As someone who’s been a large proponent of the “consider feelings of safety” POV, I want to loudly acknowledge that this is a thing, and it is damaging to all parties.
I don’t have a good solution to this. One possibility is insisting on things that facilitate safety even if everyone is saying they’re fine.