I mostly agree with all of that, but also, the case against “everyone managed it back in the good old days” seems understated IMO. If in the “good old days” everyone stayed in miserable relationships because of social and legal barriers to leaving, that’s not a point in favor of the good old days. I don’t see the advantage of modern society in this respect as a trade-off, it seems more like a win-win.
You can get divorced and still have both parents in your kids’ lives. Conversely, you can remain married and make your kids miserable. There is no system that can force someone to be a good parent.
Ehn, no system can force someone to be a good parent, but some systems might nudge people in one direction or another. Barriers (permeable, and surmountable when the drive is sufficient) to less-commonly-good situations might serve a purpose.
Walking the line between encouraging responsibility and best-for-the-child and allowing those who choose/need to do otherwise (where best-for-everyone is distance from the child) to do so is not easy, in theory or practice.
I mostly agree with all of that, but also, the case against “everyone managed it back in the good old days” seems understated IMO. If in the “good old days” everyone stayed in miserable relationships because of social and legal barriers to leaving, that’s not a point in favor of the good old days. I don’t see the advantage of modern society in this respect as a trade-off, it seems more like a win-win.
I think a system which lets you disappear from your kid’s life just because you got feelings for someone else is not win-win.
You can get divorced and still have both parents in your kids’ lives. Conversely, you can remain married and make your kids miserable. There is no system that can force someone to be a good parent.
Ehn, no system can force someone to be a good parent, but some systems might nudge people in one direction or another. Barriers (permeable, and surmountable when the drive is sufficient) to less-commonly-good situations might serve a purpose.
Walking the line between encouraging responsibility and best-for-the-child and allowing those who choose/need to do otherwise (where best-for-everyone is distance from the child) to do so is not easy, in theory or practice.