Other than the “teasing her more than I normally do” and “walking in a specific place relative to her” everything in your treatment group could also be called “being a good date.”
Sounds like I’m on the right track :)
I would recommend, in your own head, think of it not in terms of “playing hard to get” but in terms of “treating your partner with respect.”
“Treating your partner with respect” is a poor heuristic. It includes some great behaviors like listening but also some terrible ones that “put the woman on a pedestal”. If you think respect has a special unusual definition on first dates, just taboo the word for better communication.
One could think about “being coy” or “respecting myself” or “withholding judgement until I know the whole woman” if they find “PHTG” distasteful. I have no preference.
This concern I hear a lot. I originally applied it to my dating-app-texting and send texts that felt natural to me. Those majorly underperformed texting strategies which relied on a few heuristic rules (short, easy to respond to, more teasing, etc.). We also know that most male animals do not use “be yourself”—see here. Also, the nature of system 1 is that it learns increasingly complex behavior with habit and reinforcement. So treatment could easily underperform at the start but eventually overperform.
Generally, I put some weight on this argument but not enough to switch to control only.
If your date realizes that you are “PHTG” that is, itself, a signal and will select for/against certain types of partners.
Half the probability mass in the “control is better” hypothesis comes from me being a bad actor, yes. On the other hand, looking desperate extends the number of dates needed to find an equivalent compatibility partner.
On that note, are you clear in your own mind about what your goal is? “What does it profit a man to gain the whole [girlfriend] but lose his [happiness]” and all that.
After the experiment if I hated PHTG but to outperformed the control, I can choose to do control anyway. That’s unlikely but possible.
I would recommend getting your (cis het male) dating advice primarily from women who you know and would like to date, but who already have husbands/boyfriends. Rather than solely from other cis het males on the internet.
“Respect” in this context means treating your date as an autonomous human with an internal narrative, desires, thoughts, history, and everything else that makes you a unique person. Rather than as an inscrutable piece of software or machinery that you are trying to figure out and/or get to act in a specific way.
And the final warning isn’t about experimental design, its about not tuning yourself into a paperclip maximizer (especially when what you really want is a staple)
I would recommend getting your (cis het male) dating advice primarily from women who you know and would like to date, but who already have husbands/boyfriends. Rather than solely from other cis het males on the internet.
Attraction is a subconscious process. If women or men could just introspect and output the attraction function lots of psychologists would be out of a job. Sadly we cannot.
“Respect” in this context means treating your date as an autonomous human with an internal narrative, desires, thoughts, history, and everything else that makes you a unique person. Rather than as an inscrutable piece of software or machinery that you are trying to figure out and/or get to act in a specific way.
Thanks for the response!
Sounds like I’m on the right track :)
“Treating your partner with respect” is a poor heuristic. It includes some great behaviors like listening but also some terrible ones that “put the woman on a pedestal”. If you think respect has a special unusual definition on first dates, just taboo the word for better communication.
One could think about “being coy” or “respecting myself” or “withholding judgement until I know the whole woman” if they find “PHTG” distasteful. I have no preference.
This concern I hear a lot. I originally applied it to my dating-app-texting and send texts that felt natural to me. Those majorly underperformed texting strategies which relied on a few heuristic rules (short, easy to respond to, more teasing, etc.). We also know that most male animals do not use “be yourself”—see here. Also, the nature of system 1 is that it learns increasingly complex behavior with habit and reinforcement. So treatment could easily underperform at the start but eventually overperform.
Generally, I put some weight on this argument but not enough to switch to control only.
Half the probability mass in the “control is better” hypothesis comes from me being a bad actor, yes. On the other hand, looking desperate extends the number of dates needed to find an equivalent compatibility partner.
After the experiment if I hated PHTG but to outperformed the control, I can choose to do control anyway. That’s unlikely but possible.
I would recommend getting your (cis het male) dating advice primarily from women who you know and would like to date, but who already have husbands/boyfriends. Rather than solely from other cis het males on the internet.
“Respect” in this context means treating your date as an autonomous human with an internal narrative, desires, thoughts, history, and everything else that makes you a unique person. Rather than as an inscrutable piece of software or machinery that you are trying to figure out and/or get to act in a specific way.
And the final warning isn’t about experimental design, its about not tuning yourself into a paperclip maximizer (especially when what you really want is a staple)
An amplemaplestaple?
Attraction is a subconscious process. If women or men could just introspect and output the attraction function lots of psychologists would be out of a job. Sadly we cannot.
How do you feel about this?
This is my perspective