if you’re unlucky, it might actually be interpreted as backtalk, especially if the people you’re arguing against have higher social status than you do—like, for instance, your parents.
Status is earned. If you don’t fight for your own views than you have very little of it. If you however stand up for yourself you can get away with more.
Okay, let me put it this way: are you going to deliberately get into an argument with (say) your boss? Maybe if you’re fortunate enough to have a really understanding boss, but in general, getting into arguments with people in higher positions of power (and thus with greater social status) is not a good idea.
I’m not advocating getting into an argument. I’m speaking about asking another person for their life experiences, in this case about asking a parent.
And I’m not disagreeing with that. The problem arises when the person being asked the questions perceives it as an attack on their status, and then retaliates. Some parents don’t take well to being questioned, like, at all. When that happens, you’ve got yourself a Hostile Arguer. And then it’s best to just cut your losses.
In cases like this there no real way to cut the losses. You do have an ongoing relationship with your parents and you are paying a price the next time because they will expect you to fold the same way.
Status is earned. If you don’t fight for your own views than you have very little of it. If you however stand up for yourself you can get away with more.
Okay, let me put it this way: are you going to deliberately get into an argument with (say) your boss? Maybe if you’re fortunate enough to have a really understanding boss, but in general, getting into arguments with people in higher positions of power (and thus with greater social status) is not a good idea.
I’m not advocating getting into an argument. I’m speaking about asking another person for their life experiences, in this case about asking a parent.
Teenagers fighting for more power and self-determination is a quite natural part of puberty.
And I’m not disagreeing with that. The problem arises when the person being asked the questions perceives it as an attack on their status, and then retaliates. Some parents don’t take well to being questioned, like, at all. When that happens, you’ve got yourself a Hostile Arguer. And then it’s best to just cut your losses.
In cases like this there no real way to cut the losses. You do have an ongoing relationship with your parents and you are paying a price the next time because they will expect you to fold the same way.