But rationally maximizing utility will still look different from going where your whims take you. Hopefully! Otherwise there would be no value to rationality.
Even if you assume that it’s about decisions rather than roles, the question is either “are you fallible?” or “what compromises do you make between sending proper signals to your partner/family/housemates and between doing what you believe makes your (and possibly their) life better?” The former is poorly conceived—what do you want him to say, “yes, but less than other people”? - and the latter poorly expressed.
But rationally maximizing utility will still look different from going where your whims take you. Hopefully! Otherwise there would be no value to rationality.
Even if you assume that it’s about decisions rather than roles, the question is either “are you fallible?” or “what compromises do you make between sending proper signals to your partner/family/housemates and between doing what you believe makes your (and possibly their) life better?” The former is poorly conceived—what do you want him to say, “yes, but less than other people”? - and the latter poorly expressed.